The Detached podcast
Welcome to the podcast. This is a space where I get to vocalize my thoughts and dive deep into conversations with some truly remarkable individuals. It’s not about surface-level chit-chat—this is where we get into the real stuff. We talk about the things that matter: health, fitness, relationships, and the process of breaking free from the limitations we place on ourselves.
I don’t believe in small talk, because nothing meaningful ever comes from it. So, let's dig deep into the topics that can actually change your life. I want to bring you value, provoke your thinking, and help you see the world differently.
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Let's get into it.
Sophia
The Detached podcast
Ep: 77 Living Authentically: Embracing Balance, Self-Discovery, and Personal Growth with Rima Zanoun
This episode delves into the journey of self-discovery and the importance of authentic living with Rima, an entrepreneur and coach. Throughout the conversation, Rima discusses the struggles of balancing personal growth with business success, the significance of emotional expression, and her philosophy on love and relationships.
• Emphasis on philosophy as a foundation for self-discovery
• The journey from corporate life to entrepreneurship
• Importance of belonging versus being genuine
• Emotional expression as a pathway to freedom
• Role of mindfulness and breathwork in self-connection
• Navigating the impact of technology on emotional intelligence
• Relationships as mirrors for personal growth
• Balancing business obligations with nurturing personal well-being
• Insights on leadership and making tough decisions
You can find Rima on her instagram :
https://www.instagram.com/rimazanoun.talks?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Also please feel free to share your thoughts on this episode on instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sophiadelavari/
Welcome back to another episode of the Detached podcast. Today I have Rima who is going to introduce herself, because I've tried to study you intensively, to understand who you are as a person and I feel like there's so many strings to your bow, so I would love you to give me a rough introduction of yourself and who you are today.
Speaker 2:Hi Sophia, I'm really happy to be here, and so I'll answer the question with maybe a little bit of my history. So I've been an entrepreneur for about 15 years. I've had about six different companies, and I left the corporate world really young, at 21. So I did a very short period in the corporate world and founded a few different companies. I've also been a coach so I got my training about 14 years ago and in coaching so holistic coaching, um, and I've got about a few different modalities under my belt in terms of nlp, hypnotherapy, etc. And um. So I'm a public speaker, I'm a coach, um. I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a creator, um, and I work with uh people around the world and in the UAE in different formats, in different frames, to help them achieve their best, most delicious life, find their authentic self and really live a life that is really in alignment between their mind and their heart. So get their heart's desires out there and get the mind to follow to create those desires for them.
Speaker 1:That's, um, what I do so let's bring you back to your, your university and your studies previously before, because obviously it sounds like you just jumped into entrepreneurship. Um, when you were in school, what was your main modality? That you were like I'm ace at this.
Speaker 2:Philosophy. I loved philosophy so much it was philosophy and history, but when it came to mythology and ancient histories, so I was absolutely obsessed with that. You know, people may be at my age all the girls had the Backstreet Boys posters in the bedrooms and stuff and I had, like Socrates and Ulysses and this is these were the uh, the stories that really brought a lot to me, I think you know, looking back and the philosophers of enlightenment in France and where did you? Get your hands on philosophy in school yeah in school.
Speaker 2:So we had, we had philosophy, and when I discovered that and that world, it was like all the thoughts that I had in my mind growing up, thinking, you know, and all the ethics and the moralities of, you know, justice and truth and equality there was a space that was speaking about that, there was a voice for it, and that was philosophy.
Speaker 2:So I was like, oh my God, I found sort of a home or you know, and that I kind of really swam in that world and I enjoyed it so much and I was writing essays and I was really debating different things on paper and having different like a playground. So my mind was debating different thoughts and different ideas to really get at the end of it, to truth and to kind of. It was almost like a little bit of a rebellion. So maybe that was my teenage rebellion is how do we get to truth and how do we get to what's right or what makes sense is if we really drive a debate fully unbiasedly to the end of it. And how can we exercise that muscle in our mind to think for ourselves and to go there?
Speaker 1:What do you think triggered your rebellion?
Speaker 2:Oh, hormones for one. Hormones definitely in teenagehood, but definitely being raised by that previous generation, which was a very strict generation. I think for the most, part of this is the right thing and this is the wrong thing, and this is how we do things and this is tradition and we don't question things. So the whole we don't question things was just like a pit in my stomach my whole childhood. It's like what do you mean? We don't question things. The whole point of existence is to question things so that we can expand things.
Speaker 1:Who defined not being able to question things for you?
Speaker 2:I think, the system overall. So definitely growing up at home with my parents, so that was quite a, you know, a system where things are the way they are and we don't really question much of it. And this just is what it is. The question, why wasn't really? I remember being a kid and bless my mother. She was like, why do you keep asking why about everything? Why, why, why? And you know she didn't know any better. I love her, bless her. But that for me, the why, drove me further in thinking and in understanding things.
Speaker 2:And then the school systems. They were so strict, it was a one mold fits all. So at school I was known for and friends which I still have to this date from school that still live in UAE as well would definitely vouch for that and say I wasn't there much. Especially the last few years before graduation I was avoiding going to school very, very much. I was a student, so I had best grades and everything, but I just didn't want to be there. It was just I had enough because I was really unhappy with the system. It didn't make sense for me. I didn't understand why we couldn't really get out of the line and just be more of ourselves and there wasn't a space for your personal expression of who you are. So that got me to go my own way a little bit and whatever system that I put my foot in, or environment or space where I put my foot in, and felt that there were constrictions that went against welcoming authenticity and welcoming beings for who they are, I took my foot out real quick. So that was not.
Speaker 1:Do you ever feel like you create that barrier yourself of thinking that you're restricted?
Speaker 2:No, I think that we have limiting beliefs 100%, and our own restrictions are within. So it's about choosing and intentionally thinking. What is it that I believe in and what is it that I don't believe in? And if I go into a space that tells me I cannot believe my own beliefs or my truth isn't welcomed, then that is a space that's telling me it's not for me, and that's okay. It might be for someone else, just not for me.
Speaker 2:So our life is this life here. This life Because our life on the outside is a reflection of this life that we are, because life is really just here and it reflects in everything we do. So this life here is my responsibility, 100%. And my responsibility to this life here is to allow it to express itself fully, as my creator has designed it to express itself and be so. It is not to dim it and constrict it.
Speaker 2:So it is my responsibility to go into spaces or create those spaces, which is mostly what I did create those spaces where I can express what I am, my ideas, things that I believe in, how I'd like to live my life, how I'd like to experience this life that I have, how I want to spend my time with who. The whole concept of 365 days, where you get a few weeks a year to go on holiday, makes no sense to me. It never did when I was a kid, it doesn't yet and I don't think it should make sense to anybody. I have 365 days. I want to enjoy 365 days, not two weeks of that or five weeks or whatever holidays we get.
Speaker 1:When did you realize that expressing yourself was so important?
Speaker 2:Because it hurts when you don't. So it's that simple. It hurts when you don't. Your body is so intelligent, but we dismiss the body's intelligence and we suppress it. And whatever we suppress is going to express strongly somewhere else, and either it expresses in usually unhealthy ways so that's what leads to addictions or it leads to people being, you know, self-sabotaging or hurting other people because there's a hurt going on. So when your body is telling you that doesn't feel good, that doesn't feel true to me, but you say nothing about it, you are contributing to your own pain and hurt and you're accepting that. And again, I'm responsible for this life.
Speaker 1:So have you found yourself in any situations where the accumulation of not expressing yourself has stacked upon itself and has showcased in a way that you didn't like Absolutely?
Speaker 2:The first part of our life is constricted because we don't have a choice. So we come into a family, right, we're born and we come into this family and our number one need is to belong. Why? Because as a three-year-old, I can't just pack up my stuff and say I'm going somewhere else. Bye, guys, I can't survive on my own, so I have to. And to belong means I'm going to adopt whatever beliefs, whatever rules, whatever system. This is because that's my survival need at this point and we carry that on later on in our life and for a lot of people way too long.
Speaker 2:And that's the pain and the angst and the emptiness and the hurt and the dysfunction that happens within Because we carry on with that belief. But we have another need which is just as important, which is the need to be. So being and belonging are the two primary needs and it's that dance between the two. I can't just be and be isolated from the world and it's just me, my ways and my views, and I have nobody around. I cannot be disconnected. We are made and designed as one and in connection we thrive and in connection we expand together. And I cannot just belong because by doing that I'm completely banishing the me being and I am suffering self-abandonment, which is a true pain in our existence. So how do I balance the two?
Speaker 2:And in our life, I think at the beginning, as I said, we start with the belonging, which is super important. So we adopt all these beliefs and all these, we're domesticated in that way, and after that we start slowly removing all of the things that don't serve us because they don't belong to us. They never did, we didn't come with them. And when we remove them, we create space. Space for what Contemplation of what I am? What am I? Who am I? What am I here to do? What feels true to me? That's purpose. And we start stepping on that path where purpose is not a destination. We never arrived there, but it's how we do things and by doing them more intentionally, in line with my truth. That is my purpose. If, every day, at every moment, I am doing what feels right and true, then I'm on purpose. Whatever comes out of me at that moment is what I'm supposed to be doing and what is supposed to come out of me at that moment.
Speaker 1:How often do you have to retract back to your purpose, to remind yourself that you're in line with yourself?
Speaker 2:Every time I feel a disconnect or me stepping off the path of that. And again, how do we know being in tune with our body? Our body is incredibly intelligent. We, you know, we speak of the mind's intelligence so much that we think that is the ultimate intelligence. It isn't. The heart's intelligence is supreme and way superior to that. It tells us so much that we can't explain.
Speaker 2:And because we can't explain, we dismiss it most of the times, like I can't explain why I feel drawn to this, so I shouldn't be going there until I have my mind can create a logical plan for it. But the mind doesn't need to do that. It's just starting to trust that. So the body will tell us is if I'm really um, going about something, it doesn't sit right and it doesn't feel right, I take a break, I don't do anything else, I don't decide anything, I have no words for anybody, for anything. I just sit back and realign. My only job at that moment is to find back my center, because when I get back to my center, I'm now again tapping back into my resources. So now I can make better decisions, now I have more clarity, now I can see things better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you know that you're not being biased to your thoughts, though, when you're trying to step in line with your purpose? How do you differentiate you being reconnected with your body or reconnected with your mind?
Speaker 2:That's the million dollar question, right? It's like how do I know if it's intuition or it's just all of my extremely creative stories in my mind of my self-concept coming and trying to convince me of something? Well, that is practice. So we've practiced most of our life to listen to this one, right? And the more we practice listening to the voice of intuition, at the beginning it's going to be a little whispers and at the beginning it's a very low volume voice and sometimes we miss it and we can't hear it. And we have to go through a bunch of things where we say I knew it, I knew it, I didn't do it, I knew it, I didn't say it, you know, I had a feeling, had a feeling and the more we practice raising the volume of that one and trusting it that's the key is trusting it Is can I trust what I don't see and cannot explain logically, mathematically? Can I trust? That's faith? And then we start walking in faith rather than in logic.
Speaker 1:How long have you been walking in faith for?
Speaker 2:I think most of my life I've always listened to my heart and I just could not shut that voice out Like I couldn't. And when I was a kid I was, you know, you're a difficult kid, you're this If something's wrong, I'm going to say it. If it's unjust, I'm going to speak up. If something's wrong, I'm going to say it. If it's unjust, I'm going to speak up. I just could not. I could not be the person who just puts up with, shuts up and allows for what is non-ethical or you know so I would always speak up for myself.
Speaker 2:I've learned in certain, I have self-abandoned in many previous, in childhood or in relationships or whatever, and those were testing times of how much, how valuable it is to me and what's my priority. So we kind of have to always lose track of our path and get lost until we're like I don't know who I am anymore at this point, so that we can come back much stronger and say I'm never, ever, ever stepping out of my truth again. And so yeah, I think, since I've always been very in tuned with my heart, for sure.
Speaker 1:So when you talk about derailing yourself, is there any examples of you completely going off the rail that you were planning on traveling alongside?
Speaker 2:I don't think we do it consciously. I trust is full trust. So when we say I trust, I really trust in a greater force and I really trust in a grand design. And I know not, I believe not, I think, I doubt, but I know fully is I trust that even when I'm derailed, there's a purpose for it and I welcome it. The same way, I would welcome absolute blissful surprises, which means now I'm allowing myself, I can open a door, and that's how life works, right, it's like somebody new comes into your life, new friendship springs or a job opportunity, and the door opens and you know okay, let's go. A new chapter, a new roller coaster.
Speaker 2:And sometimes at the beginning you know and I'm pretty tuned in to a certain degree so early on I'll know this is not right. And yet I can't leave that space. When there's that my feet are staying there and I don't have the strength to leave, it's because we're not supposed to leave. There's something for us there, even if we know is there something for us there and it might not be the outcome we want and it might not be you know what we've. But that's when we release all outcomes and we release all expectations.
Speaker 2:As I didn't come into this job or into this opportunity or this friendship or relationship because I'm going to get this outcome. Which I want is, I'm coming here and I have no idea what the outcome is, but I trust that it's for my best interest and my highest good and in that process it's allowing to completely surrender our will and ourself and just being present with it. It is there to highlight something for me for the next step. I don't know if it's going to be joyful or painful or whatever. Both of them I welcome because both of them bring their own value to my life and on my path.
Speaker 1:Do you have any examples of change in your career, an example to this that you found yourself? Oh, I was handed this opportunity. It doesn't really feel right, but you learned from it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely I worked in it. So when I worked in corporate, when I was younger, I worked in corporate and it was one of those things. It was one of the biggest companies in UE and it was one of those things. It was one of the biggest companies in the UAE and it was you know which company, was it?
Speaker 2:I don't know if I can say, I don't know if I can say, mbadele, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was working there and all the cool people were starting up. It was just the beginning and there were so many people I knew from school and and I was doing the corporate thing, which is you wake up in the morning at a certain hour because you got to go to work and you got to dress up and go and follow the you know all of what's there and, um, kind of execute and be part of the team and execute with them, execute with them. And for me, it was the greatest mirror of why I cannot be in a space that is not in alignment with me. I did not. I did, you know, I felt, um, my value was not being utilized fully. And for me is how do we maximize somebody's value somewhere, right? So any space you're going to enter is is this space a place that you know somebody's value somewhere, right? So any space you're going to enter is is this space a place that you bring value into? If you have this much to give me, sofia, and I just take this much from you, what a waste for everybody and the organization itself.
Speaker 2:So there was that and I just felt undervalued. I felt I couldn't give as much as I wanted to. I didn't like some of the bureaucratic, which is all corporate, and the different players and the different people that have all their own agendas and the people are there because it's just a paycheck and all that. I was like what am I doing here? It has nothing to do with why I'm on this earth Absolutely nothing. I did not come to this earth to support a system where I'm working with people who are just like, oh man, I can't wait to have tomorrow off. That's not what I'm about. What am I doing here? And it's okay for other people Everybody's on their path and everybody figures stuff out about themselves on their path on their own time, but for me it it was just like this is not what I'm here to do. So being in this space is not doing anything for me or for them, and you know what was your purpose then?
Speaker 1:what did you figure out was your purpose?
Speaker 2:it's see again, purpose is not a thing. Purpose is not a thing. There isn't. It is such a conflicting word and it's misused a lot where people are like I'm trying to find my purpose. We don't find our purpose by becoming more of who we are, which means really aligning with our truth. We do things purposefully, which means to everything that I do I'm doing it purposefully. There is my value that I'm adding there. That is meant to bring value and expansion and growth to whatever I touch. That's purposeful. If I come into an environment where I have nothing to give, then I'm not on purpose. I'm not on purpose, it's just not a match.
Speaker 2:So purpose is really for me is how present, intentional and creative you are in that space, as in creative meaning, the flow of creation is creating through you and you're allowing it to create whatever it needs, to create and co-create with the rest of the people there. And that for me, is being in alignment, because from that you get full, you feel your fullness. What is it to be fulfilled is to feel our fullness. How do we feel our fullness? When the flow of life flows through us outwardly and creates how we feel full right. So it's being in those spaces and the spaces which are not that way. That's okay. That's okay. That's aligning ourselves with the right people, aligning ourselves with the right people, aligning ourselves with the right circumstances and situations, without having to pull and push and change and say, you know, it's like, oh, we need to get all these people to think this way or we don't need to get anybody to think any way. People are on their path.
Speaker 2:Who am I to come and say you should be wanting better for yourself or differently for yourself, or you should want this for yourself? I have no idea. I trust in the grand design, meaning I trust that who you are right now, at every second, is perfectly perfect and shouldn't change at this moment, because your purpose right now, in the grand design, in this weaving, this collective weaving, you're supposed to be exactly who you're supposed to be. And that goes back to thinking even about our families growing up and our parents. Who am I to think my mother should have been different or my father should have been different? They were exactly what they needed to be at that moment for a grand design which is way beyond my ability to understand. So I'm not going to waste time there, I'm just going to accept that it is perfect as it is, because I know it, because I've experienced it, because I've seen it, I know it is and in that, just focus on myself.
Speaker 1:When you mentioned the word perfect. Do you believe that things are perfect?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. How could I not, how could I not? Can you not?
Speaker 1:look at anything and think it could be a little bit more perfect.
Speaker 2:If I look at anything and think that it is unperfect, I am arrogantly thinking that my judgments are based on better evidence than what the creator has created for us, than what the creator has created for us. So I cannot, me little Rima in this world one of how many passing in a life of maybe 80, 90 years if I'm lucky think that I know better how the design should be from this little brain of mine, which was created by creation, makes no sense. So, and I've been a creature of the mind my whole life I mean philosophy, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:So I was stuck in philosophy and science, and all of that Because I pushed it so damn far. I reached a point where the unexplainable was unexplainable, where the unexplainable was unexplainable, which is the same place that most scientists, most philosophers, most historians reach, which is now. I can't explain the rest of it. It's too crazy. So you're the middleman, so you have to leap into what we call the unknown. You have to leap into the mystery of what creation is. What's the unknown for you? The unknown is what we don't know, so it's what creation is. What's the unknown for you? The unknown is what we don't know, so it's what creation is, is the purpose behind everything. We are creatures with purpose and we are creatures, which means we have purpose. Every life form has purpose, from the little ant to the shark, to you, me, everybody has a purpose and we don't have the capacity to understand that grand design. It is that crazy.
Speaker 2:And when you look at science, right, when you look at science, and you see all the tools that have been created in science and all the discoveries have been, which is insane, I mean, with science we have done unimaginable progress, from looking at the planets, the microbes and all these things, and we can't explain everything. And what is science? Science is a discipline that tries to explain creation, source, god, whatever you want to call it, through tools, through logic, through the mind. And when the mind reaches its limit, we drop into the heart, which is where we feel life, soul source and we start understanding things without the mind. And we just know Einstein speaks of that. He's cracked. I mean, it's Einstein and he's cracked. He's pushed it as far as possible with all his theories, etc. And before he dies, in his letter to his daughter, he says the heart's intelligence is the one thing. I won't be able to understand what love is.
Speaker 1:When we talk about Einstein. What's your idea on AI now? Because they say AI is obviously more powerful than the IQ of Einstein.
Speaker 2:I think AI is fantastic and, again, part of the perfection of the grand design. Why? Because we have pushed our intellect to create every single thing we can possibly think of. I mean, we've created so much. We've created every taste from the senses, tastes and sights and scents and textures, and everything we can imagine, and overflow and abundance. And now we've basically outsourced this brain and put it out there and said now you create.
Speaker 2:So now the mind, which, if we speak in feminine and masculine energy, that's the masculine energy, the mind, the logic that you know, that calculates the soul's problems, et cetera. We're like here you're going to do it on your own, by yourself. Fantastic, you know why? Because now it gives us the space to fall into the heart and to live more from the heart, and I think that's the direction of the world at the moment and I think that's where we're going. We are dropping back into our hearts, we're awakening back to the intelligence of our heart, back to the intelligence of our heart and by outsourcing the mind and giving it its own space to create and think for itself, for us, we get to have a lot more space for us to tap into our heart's intelligence what's the most common things that you think distract people away from the heart.
Speaker 2:Feeling.
Speaker 1:Feeling, and where do we get detached away from our feelings? What encourages us to be?
Speaker 2:detached away from our feelings, because feeling life is so intense. We are these beings experiencing this vastness and so much intensity. It's a lot, and we are also brought up in our domestication frame to avoid discomfort. Discomfort means anything that doesn't feel good in my body. So when energy moves in my body emotions, energy in motion when it moves in my body and it creates discomfort, I must shut it down as fast as possible. And we do that with our mind right Stories that we create, lies that we tell ourselves and keep busy, all these self-adaptive or maladaptive strategies such as addictions and numbing and all sorts of different things, do not feel, because we don't want to feel discomfort and we feel that discomfort is the worst thing to experience and therefore avoid at all costs, and by that we avoid life.
Speaker 2:So most people whose hearts are closed are numb, numb. What is the opposite of life and aliveness? Numbness, not death. Numbness is I'm here as a robot, I am in front of all of this and I feel nothing. I could be in front of the most beautiful scenery, with the most loving people and I feel nothing. That's death. That is the opposite of aliveness.
Speaker 2:And the thing with feeling is we don't get to pick and choose. We don't say I'm just going to feel the joyful things and I'm going to avoid the negative stuff. It's like opening a window. If you close the window, nothing's coming in, you're safe, but you're also cut out from life and oxygen. You got to open the window so you can feel the breeze of life and allow for yourself to feel all of it. And in that allowing for yourself to feel all of it and going through all of it and being able to feel the pain because there is such gifts in the pain, in feeling the pains what happens is I expand my capacity to receive life. I become a being that is able to receive and experience life fully. So I am more of me, fuller with life, and poor. So much life. Now, that is aliveness and that is, I think, what we are here to experience All of it, the fullness of it?
Speaker 1:Your experience of pain, do you feel like, because you've experienced so much pleasure in your life, your pain needs to expand to elevate the pleasure that you feel.
Speaker 2:I've experienced a hell lot of pain. If you find anybody who's experienced a lot of pleasure or, as heart, is very open, you can bet that their heart has broken a hundred times, because that's the only way our heart becomes, uh, open has to break. It has to break open many times. And for us to allow ourselves to feel pain, and in that pain that you know it's I like to call it the sinking into the pain and you sink into it and you sink into it and at the bottom of it you have nothing but full surrender. And at that full surrender there's a reconnection to life, there's a re-desire for life where I now desire life, I love life, I appreciate so much more, I see the goodness in it and I hold on to it and I climb back up with so much more love, so much more compassion, understanding for it all.
Speaker 2:Because I can only understand your pain if I can understand mine. This is not logic. We can't sit down and go like, oh, this math makes sense. I agree with you. I can only understand your pain if I say, I look in the eyes and I say I have been in pain as well, so I can feel with you I think this is why you didn't like school because you want to experience stuff, you want to action things.
Speaker 2:You don't want to know just the theory or the information I think because, yeah, theory is is great and it takes us places and it we need to know. So knowledge is one thing, knowledge is one thing, but knowledge does not give us experience. You can know all the theories up there, but if you don't feel them and they haven't registered as experience in your body, so every cell of your body knows it, you can't embody it. You can know I should be loving myself and doing this and doing that, but until you've experienced what it feels like to do that, you can't do it.
Speaker 2:It doesn't resonate as much it doesn't resonate, and when you're in that situation where you should be choosing that, you're not going to choose that, even if you know it, because your body is the one leading the way.
Speaker 1:Do you ever look back at young Rima and think, wow, she actually didn't really know a lot?
Speaker 2:I look back at her and I think of the purity, I think of the innocence I think of and that's a beautiful question, because when I go back and I think of this was a girl who did not like herself and was angry a lot and really didn't like herself.
Speaker 2:And I look back and I think what a gem of a little child she held on and fought for that connection that she had so much, and she didn't say no and she didn't back down, and she would get tired sometimes and she would you know, she didn't back down and she would get tired sometimes and she would, you know, take a step back. But then she'd come back and say, no, I know what I know, and this is not right and this is not the way to go about things. And, um, I'm allowed to speak up for myself and my feelings matter and my needs matter and you know, and she never gave up on herself. She never gave up on herself. She never gave up on herself. So when I look back, I look at this little warrior. She's like a tiny little warrior.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, and when you were growing up, how did that look for you? As in, who did you grow up around?
Speaker 2:So I grew up with my father, my mother and my brother, my journals. I had a lot of journals, so those journals were like friends. I remember writing an essay in school about my journal, basically me writing in my journal every day and giving him a name. And then one day I came to look at my journal I couldn't find it and that was this person and he had turned into this boy and we became best friends and because he knew me the best, because he knows all my stories, et cetera, et cetera. So my diary was a very good friend. I had friends.
Speaker 2:I don't think socially I had very good friendships. We were all kids. Kids were all struggling with their own stuff, you know, and kids are mean and we were mean to each other. I think I got bullied, maybe when I was much younger, around around six, seven, uh did get bullied because I had a different accent, french. I was in the French school, but I had a French Canadian accent at the time because I had come from Canada. Where about your parents from? So my parents are Algerian. Ah, yeah, we're. We're Algerian, very, very Algerian. So about about 13 generation.
Speaker 1:Algerians. So you think that impacted then you being bullied because you were a bit different.
Speaker 2:No, no, everybody was from different nationalities. So I don't think it was that. It was my accent, my accent. So I had a French, canadian accent which is completely different to Parisian French and kids just couldn't take it. It was just a lot of yeah, and kids will find things, you know, we were all, we all bullied and got bullied, we all said mean things, we all did things to each other. That's kids, you know, and it's part of the second part of domestication and where we learn to stand up for ourselves and when we learn what hurts and what doesn't hurt, et cetera, and develop our personalities. So, yeah, that's how I grew up. I loved music so much. Music is life, it's just so incredible, and I intuitively knew that it kind of moved energy flow for me. So I would always sleep with my walkie-talkie what was, what was it called at the time? The headphones.
Speaker 2:Well, the headphones with the little tape cassette thing, and I would sleep with it walkman, walkman, exactly, and I would wake up and my ear would hurt because I slept on the piece, um, but yeah, I would listen to music all night and it just yeah and do you listen to music now as a form of therapy?
Speaker 1:to?
Speaker 2:release 100, 100. Music is probably the best conductor when it comes to moving energy in the body. Probably the best Frequency and the right frequencies move energy through your body so easily and you combine that with breath or breath work. It's incredible. It's incredible. It just moves exactly what's stuck in different places. I also use my voice, so I sing and I sing specific notes on resonance. So, depending on the energy and I'll move energy in that way, and then when we all sing together or we all sound together, sound whatever that note is, and we do it together, it's incredibly powerful. People, you know, cry, people release, people say I didn't know, what was that.
Speaker 1:Why do people cry during a breathwork session?
Speaker 2:It's all the stuck energy. So breathwork opens up our chest and we're over-oxygenating our body. It releases these stuck emotions that are in different parts and the thing is to really switch off the brain as much as possible. And breathwork will do that for you on its own. But if you, you know, if you see yourself go there, you can come back to the breath and really stay with it, because what it does is it's not um, into intellectualized, it's not rationalized emotions are not rational, they are not and they are there without our knowing most of the time.
Speaker 2:So we carry grief, all of us. There isn't a person walking around who hasn't lost something. There isn't a person's walking around who hasn't felt shame or carries that within them and and it's really suppressed somewhere in there. And then, with that breath work and the sound that we put around with it, the energy moves. The energy moves and I've tested it with people who are extremely rational, really, and they're masculine, as we would say up here, that's it, and they'll be like there's no way I could ever.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't half an hour in. They're sobbing and so, or they're screaming that anger. They've suppressed their whole life and it's so beautiful because after that well. They'll sleep like a baby after that, probably 12 hours, which is wonderful, and after that there's such a lightness in their body they walk lighter, they have more capacity for love, because in that crying or in the allowing it to go out, the heart cracks open. And that heart cracking open is, I feel, my heart again. So there's more flow of love in my being and I'm and I'm flowing in that love outwardly as well, when did you have your first breathwork session?
Speaker 1:Maybe five years ago? Wow, so you've been in the game a long time. Because, I feel, like breathwork now is only becoming very mainstream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we are the breath. I mean, it is what it is you want to connect back to life.
Speaker 3:You start with what's the first thing that a baby does when it comes to life.
Speaker 1:Isn't it incredible how we forget about these things. Just our senses. And we have them all included Because our head is full with noise.
Speaker 2:That's why we forget. You know, look at the times in your life where you're the busiest. You're going to forget a lot of things. Oh, I forgot to get this. Oh I forgot my keys there Because I'm busy, the busier your. You clear that up and suddenly it's like you're remembering so much that you haven't read anywhere. It's just embedded, it's already there. We have access to that knowledge, to that heart's intelligence, that consciousness. But we gotta really quiet the noise in here so what was your first breathwork class like?
Speaker 1:do you remember intense?
Speaker 2:it was so intense. My body was spasming because, you know, sometimes your fingertips you can't feel them in this spasm, my lower lip was stuck, my feet were in a contraction and I was just like what is that? And I realized how much I have not been breathing and I realized how much, um, just in conversation or how we go about life, I would hold my breath when somebody's speaking, which makes no sense, like why am I stopping breathing when somebody? But it's so unconscious, right, and I know where it comes from in childhood, and you just hold your breath and then start breathing again. And why would you hold your breath from childhood?
Speaker 2:Um, these are unconscious patterns that we pick up as kids. So if you grew up, um, feeling scared or you know, um scared to express yourself or to make any noise, my brother was a real boy, you know. I mean, he was a guy, a guy, and he had his own, you know, and he, I'm sure you wish he had a brother, not a sister, because he wanted to like play boys games etc. And he would like, you know, the wrestling moves so much.
Speaker 1:I have three older brothers, so I get where you're coming from.
Speaker 2:It was just like he wanted to wrestle and I wanted to play dolls and that was like stupid to him. So anyway, so you know, so you'd hope to be. You're the smallest in the house, your voice, you know. So you learn to just kind of not displease anybody, and these are just embedded things. And we stop relaxing into our body. What does it feel to drop your shoulders, your scalp, to relax your eyebrows, to relax your jaw? And that's how our body is supposed to feel like. And I remember coming out of that session, that first breath work, thinking that's how my body is supposed to feel like. What, what have I been doing? This feels so amazing. I feel so amazing. I was just, you know, I was kind of moving my arms afterwards and my legs and I was like, oh, what was I carrying? What was I carrying that heaviness? So it's um, and it's not taught.
Speaker 2:You know, most of these, anything that has to do with the heart and the body nourishment, mind, body and soul is not really advertised much, and wasn't in the past much. So we advertise a lot the parts for the mind, right, we do so much for our mind daily which is working, you know, anything that's going to do with thinking, problem solving, reading, all these kinds of things that's for the mind, for our body. We know hygiene. You kind of things that's for the mind, for our body. We know hygiene. You know it takes shower, brush your teeth, fitness, eating. Well, we know what to do with the body and people tell you, I don't, they're avoiding the hard stuff. But we pretty much know.
Speaker 2:And then when you say, what do you do for your heart, aka your soul, what do you mean? What do I need to do? Ha well, mind, body and soul all need nourishment. So what is your spiritual hygiene? Do you have rituals? Do you pray? Whatever prayer means to you, a prayer could be you looking at the sunset and being, you know, absorbing it with gratitude. What do you do for your soul? That nourishes your soul, that reconnects you back to your essence, and that's super important, just as important as eating. You know, for your soul, that nourishes your soul, that reconnects you back to your essence, and that's super important, just as important as eating.
Speaker 1:You know your veggies. And for someone who isn't religious, what would they do to nourish their soul?
Speaker 2:religion has nothing to do with spiritual and nourishing our soul.
Speaker 2:Just as you mentioned prayers there, yeah yeah, but that's the thing is, we associate these words with religion. I don't speak of religions, ever, for one reason I don't speak of anything that separates humans. I want to speak about what brings us together. And what brings us together is you and I both agree that what animates your body is an energy whatever you want to call it that we all agree on. You can sit with a bunch of scientists here. They'll say, yeah, it's called electromagnetics, whatever you want to call it that we all agree on. You can sit with a bunch of scientists here. They'll say, yeah, it's called electromagnetics style or whatever you know. And there's an energy that is animating your body. What are you doing about that energy? That's what we talk about, and it's and it's whether you want to call it soul, source, consciousness, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 2:But that energy, which is your being, who you are, that consciousness that knows, that is aware of what's happening around you, that is having this experience in this body. Right, I'm not my body. That's why I say I have a body. Right, I'm not Rima. I have a name. Rima is a name that was given to me, right? So not everything that is said with my mouth and heard with my ears and seen with my eyes is truth, because I can see without my eyes, I can speak without my mouth. Right now, you can go inside yourself and say, sophia, who's speaking? Your mouth didn't speak and yet ears heard Sophia and you did say Sophia. So who is that being behind? We all agree that there is something that animates this body. There's difference between what's laying on the ground, being buried, and what's alive and walking and what's thinking, so um and and. In that regards, it needs nourishment, attention, a lot of feeding, and do you think that's individualized Absolutely?
Speaker 2:Absolutely it is. That energy is what connects us all. It's what connects me to you, to everybody that's here, to the cats, to the animals, anything that's alive, life form. That's what connects us all. It's the same energy. So that same energy which is connecting us all is where we, that's home. That's home, that's where we feel we are and we belong and we're safe, and any disconnection from that is what we describe as suffering, is what we describe as disconnection, distance from self, from self, that self, which self am? I, that self.
Speaker 1:Do you think people suffer who have moved away from their home country and their habitat?
Speaker 2:I think people suffer, who hold stories about what things mean. So we only suffer the stories we tell ourselves about things, this reality, this beautiful physical world, our planet that we know and see through our senses, and we hold specific meaning for different spaces. We hold specific meaning for specific people, things, and those are the stories that make us suffer or make us joyful, so it's what we give them as a meaning. So if somebody leaves their home country thinking and their story is a story of pain, I left because I couldn't find a job and my country didn't help me and I'm a victim and I had to go and I have this brokenheartedness about it, then they're going to suffer. And if somebody leaves saying I'm home anywhere around the world, because this is home and there are people everywhere around the world like me, because as long as there's life, I am life connected to all life. So it doesn't matter where I go. Friends are there, love is there, kindness is there, Care is there, opportunity is there. That's what we choose that's what we choose.
Speaker 1:Does anyone close to you ever feel uncomfortable with how much you embody life and find happiness in all aspects of life?
Speaker 2:Yes and no. Our way of being who we are will trigger people and will absolutely delight and resonate with others. And the thing to know is it has nothing to do with us, absolutely nothing to do with us. My responsibility is to myself and being the truest version of myself. What that does on the other side, whether it triggers a person or whether it delights them again, it has nothing to do with me. Whether it triggers a person or whether it delights them again, it has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2:It's the same concept with taking criticism or compliments. Whatever criticism comes my way or compliments come my way, I've got to treat them the same way, which means I have to both hold them as a beautiful reflection of who you are, of you confessing to me who you are through these things, you telling me more about who you are through these things, and not a reflection of me, because I know me. I know me. So, yes, some people are going to listen to them. And what I would say in my aliveness or my dreams of a heart-led world full of love and kindness, and that we can create so much more from love than fear. Those are my true beliefs. If that irritates somebody, 100%, it's irritating their belief systems etc. And that's their work on them. Most people won't do that work on them. They'd rather project and say it's you. You know, let me fight you, because I don't want to fight the part in me that disagrees with you. I do not want to go inside and fight the part of me that is disagreeing with you.
Speaker 1:I'd rather fight you and yeah, how do you reflect on your triggers to really understand them and to understand why they keep appearingiggers?
Speaker 2:are our window into ourself, and whoever triggers us is a great teacher and we must regard them as such in every way, because whatever you trigger in me is showing me a part of me where I'm not free, is showing me a part of me that is not in line with the highest version of me, and when you bring it up, you basically put a spotlight on a place in me that I can let go of, that can work on and let go of. So that's not. I don't think that that's what most people do. Most people are quite reactive with them and will push back on the outside. It's like you did this to me and now I feel terrible because of you.
Speaker 2:That's one way to go about it, which is another way of saying I do not want to change that part of me or explore it in any way, shape or form. You must do that change, not me so, and it doesn't really work and it just kind of ruins relationships, all sorts of relationships. So triggers is breathing through it first and you're like, oh my God, this is my stuff. This is my stuff Anytime. I get this reactive, this uncomfortable. I do not want to be somebody that is easily triggered and uncomfortable and reactive. I don't want to experience that. So what is going on inside of me that I need to work on?
Speaker 1:and we go back to ourselves when we go back to like relationships, friendships and romantic relationships. How important is it for someone in a relationship to highlight someone else's triggers in a nice way in a nice way as possible, because obviously any sort of trigger and behaviors is a them problem and not really you. How do you address that?
Speaker 2:yeah, um, well, that's the thing. Existence only exists in reflection too. Everything is in it. So, death and reflection to life, darkness to light, masculine to feminine, everything is in relationship to. Nothing exists singularly without in relationship to. So, outwardly in our world, relationships are the container for transformation. They are the container and the space where we get to become more of ourselves. That is what we use them for. My relationship to money, my relationship to my partner, my relationship to my friend, my relationship to business, to everything, any concept, any idea. It's my relationship too. And the thing is, intimate relationships are the closest mirror to reflect back to us. So if I'm looking at myself in a mirror which is, you know, 10 meters from now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to like it, like, yeah, I look great, my skin is smooth, hair is good, everything's great. The closer you get the mirror, the more I'm going to see the pores, the more I'm going to see the wrinkles, the more I'm going to see all the imperfections and all of that stuff. And that's what intimate relationships are Into me. See, they're right here. They're right here.
Speaker 2:You can't really run. You're seeing all the parts of you, the good, the bad and the ugly, all of it. They are our greatest invitation into growth, into self-exploration and freedom, because that's what growth's purpose is. How can I become freer within myself? How can I become freer? Freer means more peaceful, and it is difficult in intimate relationships. We really go through the abyss, through hell we do. We feel the burning of all those parts If we stay long enough to feel the burning. A lot of people run too fast, but then they meet that mirror in a million other people around them, because that is the grand design, it is perfect, it will. You can't get away from you. It doesn't matter where you run, you will bump into you somewhere.
Speaker 1:So eventually we gather enough courage and strength to face to face ourselves relationships are currently declining and they do say in 2030, I think females are going to be more childless than ever before in our existence. Do you think this could be a reason for people who don't want to face themselves, or do you think people are just becoming more complicated with what they want in life?
Speaker 2:so the way I see it is, energetically we're off balance. The world is off balance energetically. The engine of creation, the engine that creates, that is pro life, is the masculine and the feminine. So the masculine and the feminine within us internally allow for our expansion to create if my feminine, which is the one that dreams, the one that creates visions, is in love with my masculine, the one that executes the visions, that makes it happen, that creates all of the plan, et cetera, right, I have a beautiful marriage here, which means now my life is rolling, I am creating, my visions are coming to life, it's happening, I'm creating in this plane. Now, when we split that because everything is scalable, everything energetically is scalable we only see difference in form because we use our eyes and our senses to dictate what reality is. But truly it is energy. Now, if you scale it to two people, right, so a man and a woman, a man and a woman come together to create life in the same way, create means bring a child into the world. That is how we are pro-life, pro the continuation of life.
Speaker 2:When that is not happening anymore, it means we have an imbalance in the energies that is now causing a dysfunction and that dysfunction is anti-life. We are not going towards the continuation of life, we are anti, anti-life and we all suffer from it. Men are suffering from it, women are suffering from it, some consciously, some absolutely unconsciously, and absolutely blind to it. They just don't know what's going on, but it's just, it's never it. I'm not happy and miserable, I'm numbing, I'm doing addictions, all sorts of things.
Speaker 2:So how do we, how do we um correct? That is through correcting the, the two functions, and putting that, putting them back in their place, which means where has the feminine been lost and where has the masculine been lost? And the energies have switched, which means there are more masculine women and more feminine men, which is not pro-life, that is anti-life. And both are suffering because women do not want to be in their masculine and men do not want to be in their feminine. And a good ratio is about because we're both right, we're both energies, because I need to have both for my own personal life and my own fulfillment. But if I'm a woman, I should be 70% feminine and 30% masculine. That's a good ratio. And for a man, he should be 70% masculine and 30% feminine. Now, if we have those ratios, we have two functioning human beings who are able to come together, work together lovingly, and we pro-life, so the work has to be on both sides here.
Speaker 1:How do you step into your femininity?
Speaker 2:how do you step into your femininity? So I think every female wants to hear this especially with the draw of entrepreneurship.
Speaker 1:It's yeah, it's hard for a female now to be successful and to remain feminine so it's about connect, connecting back to the little girl.
Speaker 2:Most women that you'll meet that are heavily in their masculine have completely dismissed, forgotten the little girl. And the little girl is the dreamer. The little girl is the one with the. The little girl is the one who's creating all these pictures that was doing so many things that were artsy and singing and dancing and wanted attention and all of that she was the feeling girl. So they've kind of switched it off, disconnected from her, which is the heart, and have moved into just doing, doing, doing, doing. That doesn't feel good, doing, doing, doing. And then they numb with whatever it is food, shopping. You know, women's addiction is a little bit different, but still the same, the same escapism. So connecting back to our femininity is connecting back to that little girl. And there are different practices we do where we go and whether it's in meditation and journaling, we sit with that little girl and we really connect back to her, remember her, feel her and hold her and love her, accept her, say you are now a part of me, not outside of me. I've not forgotten you, abandoned you over there. I'm bringing you back and I'm taking care of you. Girl, you're with me wherever we go. You dream as big as you want. You deserve everything you want, just like a good parent would say to their little girl you deserve everything. Whatever you dream of, I'm here to make it happen. I will do my best if that's the last thing I have to do on earth, because that's what I'm here for. I am here to execute and give you the life you want. What should we do now? Go get some ice cream. Should we go dancing? Should we go play? Should we go and do that, whatever it is, and reactivating that little girl inside of us and allowing her to do things that don't need to make sense, that just feel good, just following that feel good for her and our body starts moving.
Speaker 2:The feminine is in the body. The feminine is here. Masculine is here. The feminine is in the body. The feminine is here. Masculine is here. The feminine is here. Feminine feels everything. Our womb has so much wisdom. The womb, the collective womb, has so much wisdom. Our heart tells us so much about so much. That's where our intuition is. All the knowledge that we have comes from there, and that's for centuries and millennia.
Speaker 2:Women are so powerful. The feminine energy is extremely powerful. We have disconnected from it because we have believed that the masculine energy is much more powerful than the feminine. So we respect the masculine energy and then we dismiss and look down on the feminine energy. It's usually picked up at a younger age, in childhood, with the mother and we will see that a lot of women that are in their masculine really are impressed and admire masculine features or masculine traits of achievement and getting this and doing that and money and whatever it is strength.
Speaker 2:And look down on the feminine traits which are so powerful. A man is driven and he wants everything now and let's go. Do you know the power in patience? Do you know what it takes for a woman to sit there and say know it's coming, I feel abundant and I know and I have peace and I'll wait. A man can't do that. I'll be knocking at the door like when, when she's like I'm good. The power of flowing, the power of just receiving, of sitting back and attracting everything, as opposed to chasing everything and pursuing everything, which is a masculine energy. Both are powerful equally, not one over the other. But it's really recognizing those traits in the feminine the power of love, the power of the nurturing, the power of love over the power over the love of power right. And the power of love is what changes this world. Without her, this place would be dark. She is the heart, she is life, she's the colors, she's the music, she's the beauty, she's the romance, the poetry.
Speaker 1:She is why life is worth living so would you say, you've been a patient person your whole life no, oh, lord oh no, I had.
Speaker 2:That patience thing was was a tricky one. It was. You know that I had this joke with my friend where I'd say uh, you know, like I'm patient, but like can I get an update, like from God, like how do we get an update? You know, like, where are we at, like almost soon can I track the progress of my?
Speaker 1:you know, because when you have lead time it's just easier to keep going. Yeah, and then but it's.
Speaker 2:But I had to work on that patience thing and it just do you feel like it's something ongoing all the time, though it's?
Speaker 2:not ongoing anymore, so much because my trust has grown so much more. So, when my trust grew so much more, patience means I am taking into account the timeline that exists in this existence. So time as we know it, in this reality, trust means there's no time. Trust means I get rid of the time because I am beyond time and the timing that is for my path is perfect. So what am I even wasting my energy trying to think about it? Because even if I try to gather all my brain cells together, the greatest ones, the ones that are really champions in there, and put them together to imagine what would be the best outcome for me, I couldn't come close to what could be out there for me, because we don't know what we don't know, and usually that's what it is like. I was hoping for this and then I got that times a million.
Speaker 1:like that I couldn't have never imagined do you feel like every everything in life that's happened to you has been better than what you've expected.
Speaker 2:Oh for sure, for sure. It's like we think, you know, we dream so small. We dream so small why? Because our dreams are based on our memory and our imagination. Memory is my references, my experiences in this world. So, basically, I'm recycling what I know, what I have experienced, which is this much tiny little bit of what experiences could exist and exist in this universe, right? So, from my little tiny experience, I'm taking my memories and bringing my imagination and playing with them and creating an outcome that I would want. So, basically, most dreams are simply more of something that I already have, more of something that I already have. So it's like oh, a bigger house, a bigger this, a nicer that, a man that's like this, but like that.
Speaker 2:It's what we know, but amplified, but never what we don't know. We don't know because we don't know what we don't know, and when we allow for that, we are incredibly surprised by life all the time. And if you just think about it this way, what we are today is a creation. Sophia today is a creation. Rima today is a creation. We have created ourselves, right, we have created ourselves. This version of us that's adults, that's sitting here, these beautiful women are creations. Who created them? The little girl. The little girl trimmed off, saw, saw things gathered together in her head, like to be like this and like that, and I want this and that, and that's the creation. And if you took this woman today to go and visit little Sophia, who's six years old, let's say, and when it said, I am you. This, however, many years later, she wouldn't believe, because she couldn't have dreamt this. You. She dreamt a nicer her, a nicer her, not this incredible woman, just like. No way, no way.
Speaker 1:Because that's how it is. How important is it to self-reflect on how far you've come?
Speaker 2:It is probably the most important factor if you really want to cultivate and tap into gratitude. It is so easy. Our eyes are always on the horizon, thinking you know well, I want to get there. There, that, there, that doesn't exist, really there's no there, and we forget to see how far we've come. And when we see how far we've come, it is the key to self-trust. If I could have done all of that, what am I afraid of? Really, I have done all in just two years and just five years ago I didn't know I would be here and I doubt myself, please, you know. And it really brings that self-trust back.
Speaker 1:Do you think trust can be built without having experience With? Do you think trust can be gifted to someone without experience?
Speaker 2:I think trust starts with a choice and it changes the lens of how we look at the world, which means I can look for all the evidence that I am alone, that there's nothing greater than me, or I can start looking for the evidence and the links between everything and everyone, and when I start doing that, I start really having a little glimpse into the design, the grand design. It's like I didn't meet that person by mistake and that person led me to this person and then to that place, and then I came to this country and then I met that and then I did this and then I did that. This is all linked. How could it be? How could it be? It's incredible.
Speaker 2:So if you want to look for, you know to doubt, you'll always find it. I'm by myself, Everything's working out against me. I'm a fence for myself, I'm alone. This world is cruel. La la, la la. Or, if you want to look for without judgment and that's the thing that's the story is without judgment is I can look at all the experiences for the greatness they bring, because they all do, whether painful or not, and I can see all the links between them and how that led to this and this and that and it's like it's incredible, it's incredible.
Speaker 1:Who's designed this stuff? How?
Speaker 2:do you think a stranger would describe you? They would describe me according to their version of me, which means, depending on what I evoke in them, they will describe me. That's how people describe others. That's how we all do it. You know, we all have a version. There's as many versions of Sofia as people who come across Sofia and there's as many versions of me that exist in people's heads as people who I came across.
Speaker 2:I could be walking in the street and someone looks at me and is like, oh my gosh, she looks just like my sister. And this other person looks at me. He's like I don't, you know, I don't like what she's wearing. Everybody's going to have their own version of depending on what you do, within their own sense of reality. So, and the key is not to get lost in those versions, because we have enough versions of our own, in our head of ourselves. We really do so. I don't need more versions of other, more noise of what you think I am and who I think that I'm. I've got my versions of me, I've got my sense of me and then I've got the, you know the self-concepts which I'm familiar with and that's enough.
Speaker 1:You seem to be really in control of your thoughts and how you feel and who you are as a person. Has there been any stage in your life where someone has taken your power away from you?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, of course, we only know the value of something really deeply when we've allowed it to be taken away, and that is part of the grand design as well. That is part of it. You can't value something that just lands on your lap right. So I definitely my sense of self is what I treasure and protect at all costs. Why? Because if I lose that, I become a closed being. I have nothing to offer and therefore I'm not on purpose, because nothing can flow through me. No love can flow through me. I can't serve, I can't serve nobody, nothing.
Speaker 2:So being selfish, which has so many negative connotations to it, is the most beautiful thing you can do for it. What does it mean to be selfish? To be into self, into self, but what self do you identify with? Do you identify with your ego, self that is separate, that is against everybody else, me? I need to win over everybody. Then no, don't be selfish, please. But if you're identifying with the self, that is, the collective, which is your essence, yes, I am into self because I am into the oneness of a soul, into self because I am into the oneness of a soul. So I'm going to protect whatever that is about honesty and truth and justice and equality and love, yeah, so I'm going to be so into that self for sure.
Speaker 1:You seem like you're very headstrong. Do you ever feel like throughout your life, growing up, you felt like you just didn't belong?
Speaker 2:oh, lord have mercy die? Yeah for sure. And there was an entry in my diary there. So my parents moved and they sent me all my old stuff at the perfect time again, grand design. It is so incredible when you start seeing the connection it was. At the moment I was looking for little me. My parents were like, oh, we're moving, we've got all this old crap of yours. And it was like oh, my journals and all my stuff.
Speaker 2:And I was like I was looking for her, that little girl, yeah, and I remember writing something about I was eight years old and I was writing about ego and souls and how people hurt each other and they don't see each other and that they're the same and they're just angry. And that's why they and I had I don't really be passionately writing about all this stuff and I remember saying, as long as I am here with you, god, I'm okay, I'm fine, they don't get it, they don't see me, but as long as I'm here with you, god get it, I'm happy, I'm okay, I'm okay. So for me it was always a um, I never, but I never felt I belonged in my family probably still don't. I mean, I love them very much, really, truly, genuinely, um, I have such a deep love for them because I see the people that they are, what they've overcome and what they've, their human story. When you're really close to a human story, like your parents, and you see where they've come from, what they grew up in and what they've gone through and what's made them and even if and you start looking at you, stop looking at the imperfections of what you do our judgment thing, they should have done better or whatever, but you just see how much they've done and how much they've overcome and who they are and what they. You know the difficulties. How can you not love that? You know, and I don't want anybody else.
Speaker 2:So, yes, I didn't belong, because I just was different, and I think they didn't know what to do with me either. They're just looking at me like, just stop whatever this you. Um, I didn't belong in school, yeah, I didn't. Yeah, no, but then afterwards it became a bliss because then I was no longer forced into spaces. But then I got to choose the spaces, and by choosing the spaces means I got to be me, and by being me, those spaces and those people all kind of found me.
Speaker 2:And then it was so effortless, it was like the people I found were like oh, my God, my god, where you been my whole life? Where have you been my whole life? You know and it's usually people that you see the world in a similar way, so you have a similar sensitivity to this existence. So when you look into each other's eyes, you see each other and you see the world and you reflect each other's greatness and goodness and love and also hold each other's greatness and goodness and love and also hold each other accountable in different ways, and so all of these things. Yeah, I mean, we grow up. We don't have a choice when we grow up and where we start. We don't have a choice when we continue.
Speaker 1:Definitely we do. How old were you when you moved away from your family home?
Speaker 2:Canada when I went to university in Canada, so that was 17. Lab 7, 1748.
Speaker 1:You were 17 when you moved away from your family home. Yeah, yeah. So do you feel like that really helped encourage you to step into your true potential self being away from your family? I?
Speaker 2:think it was a lesson in so many things. It was a lesson in how much I was actually comfort, I was getting from my family and in my family, um, what it meant to be an adult in the world and take responsibility for yourself, which nobody is ready for, um, and that, all those delusions of what it would be to just be out there and free and whatever. That oath crumbles real quickly. It's like, oh okay, it's not what I thought, so now we're learning what it is.
Speaker 1:So it's, it's a massive, massive lesson in many, many different ways do you think you would have been able to achieve the, the person you are today, with having still lived in the family home? Because I know, obviously, living here in the UAE, it's very common for people to live with their families.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, I think I don't look at outside circumstances as the what determine who we are and what we want to become. That's really a personal free will. That's our free will.
Speaker 1:But do you think it's easier to live in an ecosystem that has less? Distractions and less habitual.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, the UAE is phenomenal because what it does is it gives you, it takes away a lot of the physical safety issues, which means there's comfort, there's ease, there's safety, et cetera, et cetera, which gives you then the space to explore and play with. You know the world and what else is there, because I don't have to really worry so much about my physical safety, my material life et cetera. There's a comfort with all that. And we always need security and safety before we can go and play and explore.
Speaker 2:So when people tell you I'm working and I'm living my life to secure myself, the next question is when you've secured yourself, what will you do? And people don't usually think about that. They're like what do you mean? Your whole life is not. I was born, I secured myself, I died. That's not the goal and we know it is. When I have enough security. What is it for? What do we need the security for? And that there's. There is where our sense of self really comes out and purpose and we start feeling much more purposeful and in our service in in this existence. So the uae allows you to have that security quite fast and quite in a stable way. So we get to explore what we're here to serve with and what we're here to do and be do you think money security gets in the way of people's creativity?
Speaker 1:if money gets in the way, of creativity?
Speaker 2:I creativity If money gets in the way of creativity? I've never heard this question. It's interesting. It's twisting my mind a bit.
Speaker 2:If money gets in the way of creativity, I think the only thing that gets in the way of creativity. So creativity means I am an open channel to create, creation is coming through me, which means my heart and my mind are aligned and saying yes and we're going together. And if money is going to stir me away from that, I'm self-abandoning and that's only going to be temporary. If I'm going to choose oh, this thing is going to make me so much more money now and my heart doesn't want to do it. And I'm going to choose oh, this thing is going to make me so much more money now and my heart doesn't want to do it and I'm not into it I will only be able to do it for a period of time, for a specific purpose. So that would be the time where we can close the heart a little bit and say now I got to do what I got to do because I've got a goal, a stepping stone before I get back to my heart project or my heart living, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:And a lot of people do that. A lot of people say you know, I have got a family and I've got to take care of them, and right now I can be thinking about this extremely beautiful app I want to create and put out there. Right now I need to make this much amount to secure myself, to feel good, safe. So I'm not going to go with what my heart desires and create there. I'm going to create this amount so that from there then I can go and do that.
Speaker 1:That's the planning. I think this is a difficult thing for people to actually go and explore because I think there's a lot of all or nothing on this. People would chase, chase money. They'll forget about their purpose, they'll forget about their alignment and then, in the chase of the money, lose themselves completely. And then it's the journey back to themselves. And then, on the other hand, it's people who are want to follow their dreams, follow their heart, where that mightn't necessarily make enough money for them to actually sustain themselves, and then they crush their creativity in terms of losing the security that they would have had if they had a stable income, what you've described here so beautifully, is a life which is led mainly masculine energy and the other life is mainly feminine energy.
Speaker 2:The masculine energy is about doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. And if the masculine is overpowering the heart, which means it's not doing for his own heart, what it's doing is it's doing it for the acknowledgement, the recognition, the self-serving validation, la, la, la, la la. And then they find at the end of that place I'm empty, it doesn't do it, meaning what? My heart is not full. I've neglected my heart, my own dreams, my own truth. So then we go back to self to do this.
Speaker 2:And if a life is on the other side, chaotic, today we have money, tomorrow we don't, because I just want to be like an artist, and tomorrow I want to be a don't know nothing, and the next day I just want to write content and not do it. And then I'm. You know, that is the feminine that lives in the fantasy world, in the vision world, in the dream world, but doesn't have a masculine that creates. The masculine energy, is not there to execute those. So we're in a chaotic kind of uncertain, unsafe ups and downs all the time and both of them will be called back in, and that's part of the journey, that's part of the beautiful grand design. Everything happens perfectly and they need to go through that, to experience that, for them to value this.
Speaker 1:Coming back to love, that's the return to love, what feeds your feminine energy, what feeds my feminine energy.
Speaker 2:Oh, um, so much. Everything I, everything I. I need my walks every day where I go and um, either on the beach or with trees or whatever it is. Music, 100%. I love dancing, dancing in the morning, dancing in the evening. I sing I was singing in the car today coming here.
Speaker 2:Um, uh, I, I just just feeling life in general and connecting with other women. Women, we are community driven. We need our tribe, we need our women. We need to come together and look to each other's eyes and really, you know, speak our hearts and feel seen and heard. We need it. That, you know, fills us so much and women who don't have that will struggle in relationship with men because they're going to put that on their partner fully and he can do a part of that for a woman but he can't do all of that because you're outsourcing to him what is not his Women. You know we need our friends and we need so.
Speaker 2:I've got my friends. I laugh all the time. I'm a big've got my friends. I laugh all the time. I'm a big joker. I laugh at myself all the time.
Speaker 2:I make my own jokes, I speak to myself, I write, I play with my cats, I love my cats and I treat them like little babies and I do the whole toxic mother thing because there's three little boys and I grab them and like my little son, I don't want you to ever work, just play video games all day and do whatever you want and you don't get married, right, and if you do, I'll pick her for you. You know I do the whole life, I enjoy and have my little fun with them. Yeah, I just I play, I play. The feminine energy is really bringing play aliveness, play into the day-to-day and we need it so much. I'm not doing things for a purpose. I'm doing things because they feel good. I don't need to have purpose, they don't need to generate something, produce something or get me an award, or I'm doing it because it feels good. Just like kids play, they play to play because playing is fun.
Speaker 1:What have children, having children has taught you? You mentioned three kids. Oh, I have three cats. I, when you said three cats, I was like. And then, when you said a little boy, I was like yeah, yeah, because there's three boys.
Speaker 2:They're a little johnson shadow, you're a cat mom.
Speaker 1:For a second, I thought you were a human mom.
Speaker 2:No, no, I'm a cat mom, but those boys are. You know they're cats but they're. I play with them and I love it and it's so fun to see how intelligent they are. Um, they bring so much joy, so much joy.
Speaker 1:Do they remind you to be a bit more playful in life?
Speaker 2:oh, so, much. I mean they are. Look at them. Cats are fantastic at showing you how to be chilled in life about everything. They're so chilled and they don't really care what you think, don't think you know. They're fantastic animals to have. They really are the epitome of sovereignty, inner sovereignty of just a sovereign being Like me. Don't like me, I don't care. Feed me Okay. Now I want you to pet me. Stop petting me now, it's enough.
Speaker 1:You know, they just do their own thing and it's so beautiful to be around them. They're funny, they're hilarious. So I came across you, uh, when I was looking up kn wellness festival.
Speaker 2:Yes, tell me a bit about that what are you going to be doing at this festival? Um, I am so excited about this festival. I think you know when I well, obviously, I've seen what they're building and what they're doing. It's insane, it's incredible. It's just. I did not expect that Sad Guru's coming. A lot of big names are coming. I've met him before yes.
Speaker 2:And a lot of people are coming and it is such a rich festival because it really caters to mind, body and soul. So so many different activities for the mind, for the body, for the soul, completely different ones, and there is a modality that's out there that they're not covering. Every modality that has to do with wellness is being covered there. That's incredible achievement. I don't know how they figured that out, but they've done a great job with that. And music at night and live music and all that. So I will be speaking on. So I have a session for an hour where I speak about the masculine and feminine energy, which is our engine of creation, and how to bring that sovereignty back so that we can be full of love and loving beings in our life and feel love and aliveness. And I'll be conducting a family constellation that has to do with the masculine and feminine energy. So I'll be a big group. I don't know if you're familiar with family and systemic constellations.
Speaker 1:No please it's a modality.
Speaker 2:It's a modality which I think is the most efficient mind-boggling modality that exists out there for quick shifts, quick change. It's incredible why? Because it bypasses all of the mind, stories and constructs and goes straight behind to what you don't know. You don't know. And how do you?
Speaker 2:do that. So constellations are. So you've got a client who's sitting next to you and they'll speak to you and give you a couple of words of what they want. We don't listen to stories, we don't talk, as the little as the less words the better. They'll say I want to work on this, or I want to, you know, have a strange relationship with my mother, or whatever, and there's a group of people that are all there and they're all representatives, and these representatives are going to embody the energy that this person assigns to them.
Speaker 2:So this person is going to be like okay, you're going to be my mother, you're going to be the block between me and my mother, so a block can be also representing. You're going to be my brother and you're going to be my current partner, because whatever's happening in childhood, in that dynamic, in that constellation that we come from which includes, by the way, all the people that we don't know about, people that died, miscarriages, people that were aborted, ancestors, et cetera, grandparents so that constellation is what tells us all the stories we need to know about ourselves. And when we go through a constellation with that person, so this is going to place them in the space. So my mother stands here. This person stands here. This one's going to stand here. The block is here and just observe and in that observing, the energy starts moving between these people.
Speaker 2:This person is going to say I'm starting to feel sick. This person says I'm just really on fire, like I'm angry. I don't know what it is. Are they cute to tell how they feel? Oh yeah, so the people that are representing the constellation of the client are going to express not what they think, but just what they're experiencing on the body, and you can really see it. And they take the positions and their morphology even follows the morphology of this person's parents or whatever. It's mind-boggling. The first time I discovered constellations, I could not believe what I was entering. I could not believe when I left. I spent two days, just my brain was fried where did you have your first?
Speaker 2:experience of this constellation. I had it in ibiza oh no actually I had it last year.
Speaker 2:Last year was here, and then I did another one here and then I had a bunch in Ibiza and I'm continuing to do a few different ones here. And so there's systemic in this family's constellation. Systemic is we can just use a group You're just representing, let's say, your partner and your mother, and we can just do that's say, your partner and your mother, and we can just do that. Or your mother and her pain, and another person represents the pain of your mother and your mother there. And the movement that happens is in what we call the morphogenetic field, which is the field that picks up on the energies is mind-boggling. Every time I leave a constellation, for me it's like a meeting with God's source. It is a glimpse into the grand design and you're just. Your brain is just blown away.
Speaker 2:And the people that come to these conversations some of the clients sometimes they are the, you know, lawyers, finance people. They, you know it's here, like, explain it to me, what do you mean? And then they go. They, you know it's here, like, explain it to me, what do you mean? And then they go through this. It's like how is this person holding their back like my dad does. This makes no sense. What is going on? It can be quite um, it can be quite uh confronting the, the person who's carrying this consolation um, is this?
Speaker 1:what are? What practitioner are they? It's a facilitator for family and systemic constellations and what would they have studied previously, before this?
Speaker 2:constellations. Yeah so constellations it's like nlp, neurolinguistic programming, so it's its own uh modality, or hypnosis, hypnosis and how long would it take to study something like this?
Speaker 2:to become a practitioner? Maybe about a year? Yeah, so the founder of this is a German man who is Bert Hellinger, and he moved to Africa and he was observing the tribes and how they move with each other and the dynamics between one another. Then he moved to South Africa, became a priest and saw that there was the same systems happening in the convents and with the priesthoods and observed that it's literally the same energies that we are in relation with in our life when we move.
Speaker 2:So your job today may be without you knowing your father and and that's why you can't leave your job, because you're still enmeshed with your father and can't leave that relationship, even though you've been talking about it for 15 years that you just hate that job and that story. And it really showcases how much our mind is incredible at telling us stories to protect us from the truth, when actually the truth is our best friend and that's what we need to get to. But our mind is really good with positive intention, trying to keep us from the truth so that we don't hurt. And then when we go into these constellations and we see that what we didn't know, we didn't know and that we've been lying to ourselves for some time to avoid this truth of what we're seeing here. It really takes us into a realm of solutions, because now our mind is under, what has been hidden is in front of us, we see it and then we can choose.
Speaker 2:And in the constellation there's always a solution. Solution means where has the love been interrupted and where do we re-establish the flow of love? So love has been interrupted at some point somewhere in that person's life story and how do we re-establish that flow of love? Maybe my heart was close to my father or my mother, but I didn't even know it and that was a person that I said I love the most and I support the most. My heart was close to them. And the client has the decision and the choice to move along with that solution, which would be a movement in the constellation, and usually the client would get up and represent themselves and make that movement. And sometimes they'll say I'm okay with how it is for now, not ready yet and we stop it there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you think business gets in the way of love?
Speaker 2:I think we are full of excuses as human beings to find problems that don't exist. That makes any sense. I don't think business gets in the way of love. I think exactly what I was talking about. We create stories that are so convenient to I. Am so busy building a career and my career is everything and business and whatever. So that's why I'm not on love, oh please. Because if I gave you right now all the money you needed or all the whatever career it was here right now, would you now go out and are you open to love? That would be a different answer, because we're not supposed to live life as in. Now I eat and tomorrow I drink. We do all of it, and love is the fuel of life. Love is who we are. So sharing my love with another person isn't something I choose. It's just the same way I breathe. It's not business.
Speaker 1:Do you not think that business can steal someone's opportunity to focus on having love in their life?
Speaker 2:I think it's a wonderful excuse to stay away from love, and I think a lot of people use it as an excuse to stay away from love because business is a huge um producer and source for dopamine, which means it keeps me feeling like I'm getting somewhere.
Speaker 2:I'm getting somewhere which is numbing me to what I really want to feel. So it's a great escape. And the number one addiction in the world actually is busyness, busyness, to be busy. As long as I'm busy, I don't have to feel whatever and I'm running, running away from me. So if I can keep a person for a day by themselves in isolation and they can withstand that and come out and say, still, I want to do business more than love, then we'll have no problem. But I can promise you that most people are staying away from what they really desire, which is that because what am I doing business for? Because that's the layers. Really. It's like what is business to you? Oh, I want to be successful, okay, I want to be safe, okay. So what's safe? Let's say, this much money.
Speaker 2:So you put a number, that's a number. Once you have that number plus a house, you're good, you feel safe, great. And when you reach that, then what? What is it for? It's a feeling, it's always a feeling. It's a feeling of what, the bottom line of it. When you go down all the lines of what the feelings are to be acceptable, I'm good, if you like me. I'm worthy, worthy of what love, I'm lovable. So this is what they want. But they're getting lost in the chase of that and then they forget what is it for. So it's just bringing clarity into that and structure into that. And a lot of people are going to be running after numbers. Numbers never end. So unless you define them, you're just going into the infinite of numbers forever. Then yeah, never end. So unless you define them, you're just going into the infinite of numbers forever. Um then yeah. So it's a good run that at some point will get you somewhere where you meet yourself again. So how lovable do we feel today?
Speaker 1:when you talked earlier about entrepreneurship, um, how have you found yourself to be a successful entrepreneur whilst finding the balance in between loving yourself and building relationships?
Speaker 2:they all work together can't do without one another. Relationships is how we get to know more of us. So if I get to see and know more of me, I get to apply more of me in everything that I touch and everything that I do. So it's all one organism. I can't do one thing without the other. They feed one another. The more I am fulfilled in relationships and my human contact and the exchange I have where I get to see and feed and be fed, the more I have of me, my resources, my fulfillment, which I pour then more into all the work that I do, et cetera. We cannot do one or the other. I don't believe in that. I believe that a person who has an imbalanced life, which means they're really heavy on business.
Speaker 2:They're doing great, but their love life is this strand and their spiritual life is this much. And they're really heavy on business. They're doing great, but their love life is this strand and their spiritual life is this much, and they're not happy. They're not happy. They're feeling their imbalance. Those are the people that go and seek help Because they're saying why I'm so angry? Look, I have all this and the arrogance is there. I've accomplished all this. It should. My entit entitlement is. My prize should be I feel good, it's not that this doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2:I want you to just bring me on a bit of a journey through entrepreneurship and like the highest of the highs that you've had, through building a business, um, highest and the highs, and then we'll unpack the lows so, uh, building a business, the highs, highs, I guess it's the you get these moments and surprises when you're doing work where you've got it doesn't matter what you do where you've got the call and you're like, and you know, you're told um, the palace and the president are calling for this order or for this thing, and you're just, can you?
Speaker 1:tell the listeners it's a chocolate business.
Speaker 2:It's a chocolate business. So yes, I've got shops.
Speaker 1:Do you know, what's absolutely insane was the fact that I was walking in DIFC and I turned and I looked at this place called Cream and I was like oh, this is so beautiful and I walked past right. This was like I think it was about two weeks ago. And then, obviously, I came across you and then I was like wow, when I realized who that was.
Speaker 2:I was like this married up from literally two weeks ago and I saw you see the connections yeah, that's how it works, so, yeah, so, chocolate, that's how it works, so yeah, so, uh, chocolate chocolate company. I got three shops and a cafe. So cream by my cow at the ifc and, uh, I like creating things, so I love that. That's the play right, so that's the creative and doing stuff. And I, I am really from a to z. So the brand is from a to z, from the packaging to the uh, the chocolates, to the music, to the decor, to the design, to everything. I love to do everything. And then I don't like to do the to the music, to the decor, to the design, to everything. I love to do everything. And then I don't like to do the running of the business so much so I hire people to do more of the operations and stuff.
Speaker 2:The highs are definitely those moments where you get you know, it's like you get those calls which is like for you know a royal wedding or somebody from Saudi, and it's like, oh, wow, you know it, you know a Royal wedding or somebody from Saudi, and and and it's like, oh, wow, you know it gives you that kind of and the feedback from them. And it's not feedback that's personal, it's feedback, that is, that creation has resonated, that creation has been received so well. Right, so that's in my chocolate business. When it comes to my work and the one-on-ones, it's just. There's nothing more fulfilling than seeing a heart crack open. I crumble inside my eyes, just I am exploding with love, gratitude, love, god, when you see someone who's been so self-protective and have that self-construct of theirs and they allow themselves to be courageous enough to say enough, I want to feel and I want to live and I want to love and I want to so, with that passion and feeling that you have, what's the downfall?
Speaker 2:I feel everything deeply, the highs and the lows I navigate them.
Speaker 1:How difficult is it to run a business here in the UAE?
Speaker 2:It's not. If there is any country in the world where it's easy to run a business, it's the UAE. It is the most supportive business-friendly country ever, really on every level. I get this question a lot. It's like how is it in competitive Dubai, this chocolate business, I'm sure, is quite competitive. Not so much in terms of homegrown brands. Homegrown UAE brands there's about two, three, four max.
Speaker 1:So yeah the rest is like franchises and stuff, so it's not uh, they're not homegrown. This is where everyone is gonna have a chocolate base go ahead.
Speaker 2:But that's the thing. I don't see the world that way. See, I don't see the world in competition. And people are gonna do, and you're gonna do. And I've had six businesses in my life. They were successful. And I move when my heart moves, which means when I'm done with something, because there's nothing for it for me anymore, not because, um, I, it's because I'm not enjoying it anymore, so therefore I can't pour into it anymore. And, um, there is more than enough for everybody on this planet. And then some, we're here to all win. We're all here to you know. We're here to all win. We're all here to you know.
Speaker 2:Do together, not compete with one another, on the contrary. And what comes out of me cannot come out of you, and what comes out of you cannot come out of me. That's the gift of authenticity, is, you can never be me, I can never be you. So your authentic creation will never be mine, my authentic creation will never be yours, you know. So it really is self-diminishing to think, oh, I'm competing with someone, is I'm completely dismissing the fact that I am a someone different than that someone. We are different someones in terms of how we create and what we do, what comes out of me, it can't come out of them. You know, it's like like, okay, you're gonna copy what? Copy a few things. It's like all these people, that's how this person copied this thing. They can't copy the whole thing. They can't copy your brain.
Speaker 1:They can't copy how you think, your experiences, your everything so when I pull back to like the deepest moments and the difficult moments of business, could you give me any examples of that?
Speaker 2:yes. So I struggled at the beginning with um firing people. Oh, I don't like this either. I hit it with a passion. It's because it's that moment where I'm like I'm gonna switch this off because it makes full sense that they shouldn't be here, and I procrastinate, and I procrastinate Okay, maybe next month. You know, I'll just keep them for now. Just because now I'm dealing with this, let me this and let me that.
Speaker 2:You prolong the problem, though, but that's yes, not only that is you make it worse, because what you're doing is essentially you are saying me not being able to handle my feelings about it is a priority to the success of the business. And this is where the masculine really excels, because the masculine is like what do you mean? Fire them? Right, it's logical, their numbers are this. Fire them. And you're like yeah, but you know they have a family anyway, so that I but this was kind of early on, then I got really good you do it a few times. And then it's like and I always do it very lovingly and I, you know, make sure that if they need any help or extension in their visas or whatever, I'm there, you're only giving them an opportunity to push into the career that's meant for them.
Speaker 2:Correct. That's the thing it's when you realize that, when you realize this is not a match, this is not a match. It's you here for me and me with you. Not a match, it's not a match. You got to move on and whatever lessons you're going to take from this is going to help you. And everybody wins, wins, wins, wins, wins. It's a win, win, win, win.
Speaker 2:So, and I had this rule where I was looking at I walked one day into one of my spaces and I was sitting there and I was looking at the employees and there was quite a bunch of them that day and I was looking at them. I was like, if there was anybody here today that I could really rely on, eyes closed, how many and who and I could only count three, and I could only count three, and I could only count three. That's a great question. I could only count three. So I was like so, basically, if those three weren't there, I'd be screwed. And also it means that if I found three that I can rely on, I can replace the other seven to be like these threes and then I have 10 that I can rely on. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Speaker 2:Now, what is the cost of that Time. I need to get more involved with the interviews and the hiring and all of that, really being non-compromising on the standards of what I'm looking for. It's a yes or no, it's not a maybe's see, not hiring, maybe let's see kind of they could work, it could if they learned. If not, no, yes or no, that's it. And I started doing that and God, that changed so much. The energy of the space changes. I can really focus more on the coaching and the mentoring and all the work that I enjoy doing so much from the heart and less and be less involved with the business because I've hired the people that are holding themselves in the business together how do you marry the two now with like managing a business whilst coaching whilst being a human?
Speaker 2:yeah, oh yes, is that good. I had one of those meltdown moments. I have, you know, those friends you call when you have a meltdown moment.
Speaker 2:It's like hi you here I just want to vent. Available for venting. Venting is about 10 minutes. I need the 10 minutes. You know I need to vent. And he's like how am I supposed to go to the gym, eat right, drink all the water and then deal with these guys and that guy does not send me the reports? And then, and then I have another client tonight Like why, how I'm human, no, and you just do that venting. I allow myself the 10 minutes of victimhood.
Speaker 2:It is, but then it's management, it's full-on management, but it's managing this. It's how much do I really want to put into this and how much do I want to put into this and what's actually feasible? So for a company, an organization, it's all about the system. Organization, it's all about the system. Who do you have in place? The people are super important, they're everything. So the people that are there, are they able to run it, solve problems, figure it out and really have that system functioning without you being involved in it? So much so that I can do the parts which I enjoy, which is business development, creative work. Other than that, I don't want to get involved, I don't want to know sort, I don't want to know Sort it out, and then I can do all of this work, which is mind and heart in my coaching, because it takes everything. You know I do a session or a group session.
Speaker 2:I am drained afterwards, the energy it takes to do that work and work energetically with other people, is a lot. You give a lot of yourself. Mind, body and soul is involved. It's not just mine, it's like your whole being is involved. Your whole energy is involved.
Speaker 1:So doing a talk or um speaking at an event, it's just it's a lot I felt like that as well when I was coaching, and that's what made me take a step away from it for some time. Yeah, because you give and give and give and then sometimes you forget to replenish yourself. Correct, with the podcast being called the Detached Podcast what would you detach yourself away from?
Speaker 2:that's limiting you today? What would I detach myself from? Doubt, doubt, it's a constant one. Doubt, yeah, because it's a constant um polarity that comes with trust and you can never abolish doubt fully, otherwise you just have trust and faith and this world would all be just trust and faith, right, so we wouldn't be challenged. So doubt will always be there, but it's um really detach myself from it and remind myself at every time that when I have doubt, I have doubt, just like I have a hand, but I'm not my hand, so I'm not my doubts. It's I have doubt, I have it here I don't need to identify with it.
Speaker 2:I can allow it to just be, without giving any meaning or importance to it.
Speaker 1:How often does they overlap your trust?
Speaker 2:Oh, they do. We're humans, we're humans. They come, the doubts come and they come and say you know, but, and what if? And what if that? But are you sure it's not? And usually it comes because we fall into the humanly this world of like it's, it's in the right time is taking too long, is it this? Maybe I need to get involved, because whoever's in charge is not doing it right, obviously so I must you know. Butt in or kind of um, and whenever I have that, I make it a, I'm literally make it a point to just sit back. I was like, oh, I'm being invited to really go deeper into my trust. Okay, because it's easy to trust when it's easy. And can you trust when it's really not easy and everything doesn't make sense? Nothing makes sense.
Speaker 1:That's when yeah, is there one self-doubt that you can share with us today? Self-doubt.
Speaker 2:Self-doubt.
Speaker 1:Ah, self-doubt that you can share with us today. Self-doubt, ah, if I don't have any, it's okay, you don't have to share. But if you.
Speaker 2:If there's one, I want to hold you accountable, like what?
Speaker 1:no, I just said. If there is one, one thing that you're doubting yourself in now, um, yes, um, yes.
Speaker 2:I've planted a lot of seeds in the past year, so this year has been the year of planting seeds, and it's like it is all sprouting at the same time so many different projects at the same time, and I sometimes sit in my little corner and think can I handle all of these, or should I cancel and remove some stuff? And so which ones are coming from? Is it feasible? And which ones are coming from the doubt that I can do all of them, and I'm kind of sitting with that.
Speaker 2:With those two, I'm just allowing it for now because I'm not sure, but it's just a lot of projects have come at the same time, so many things at the same time, where it's like non-stop, non-stop, non-stop and is and it's important for me to be able to really deliver you can always say no later it's true, it's true thank you so much for being on the detached podcast.
Speaker 1:It's been really amazing. Thank you so much, sophia. Thank you.