The Detached podcast
Welcome to the podcast. This is a space where I get to vocalize my thoughts and dive deep into conversations with some truly remarkable individuals. It’s not about surface-level chit-chat—this is where we get into the real stuff. We talk about the things that matter: health, fitness, relationships, and the process of breaking free from the limitations we place on ourselves.
I don’t believe in small talk, because nothing meaningful ever comes from it. So, let's dig deep into the topics that can actually change your life. I want to bring you value, provoke your thinking, and help you see the world differently.
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Sophia
The Detached podcast
EP 73: Running 560km whilst unfolding a Journey of Self-Care, Charity, and Community Support
From the supportive streets of Liverpool to running 560 kilometers for charity, Stephen shares his remarkable journey of finding balance between helping others and self-care. Inspired by his community and driven by the desire to make a difference, Steven's story unfolds with humor and resilience as he raises significant funds for Gaza despite not being a seasoned runner. His experience highlights the importance of embracing challenges and the unexpected camaraderie that emerges during such endeavors.
Listeners are invited to explore the complexities of people-pleasing and the necessity of self-prioritization. Stephen opens up about the journey of learning to say no and carving out time for personal reflection amidst life's busyness. Strategies for tuning into one's own needs, such as reducing social media distractions and embracing silence, are shared as vital tools for maintaining a healthy balance between selflessness and personal well-being.
As dreams of future challenges take shape, Steven's upcoming 24-hour run to raise funds for Lebanon showcases his continued dedication to charitable causes. Yet, the conversation doesn't shy away from the necessity of balancing personal ambitions with the needs of family and friends. With gratitude for the support of loved ones, this episode celebrates the powerful interplay between personal goals, community support, and the joy of pursuing passions while honoring valued relationships.
All right, stephen. What's your mission in life?
Speaker 2:Mission is to help people. Yeah, my passion now is just people and seeing them happy and leading a successful life personally, professionally, and just yeah, hopefully, anybody I meet, they just leave feeling a bit better about themselves. So helping people.
Speaker 1:Where did you learn that?
Speaker 2:I think I've always had it, I think probably even growing up. I'm from Liverpool, so I think it's quite a, you know, it's a working class, you could say quite a poor city in the UK, but I think because of that, everybody kind of just gets on with it and they're sort of in the same boat together, so everyone is really friendly. It's like the friendliest city I've ever been to, um, so everyone is sort of out to help each other. So I think it probably stems from that and then, yeah, I guess it's just carried on.
Speaker 1:I've always been, yeah, I've always been interested in helping people do you think, living in an environment of people always helping out, do you think sometimes you adopt the feeling of people pleasing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah for sure, like I definitely put everybody else first before myself. You know, definitely that's one of my weaknesses Sometimes, when I look at it, whenever I get that question asked, is, yeah, often I'll put probably everybody's needs before my own, which I'm happy to do, but it does have, I guess, some detrimental. Yeah, it doesn't always work out the best in certain situations.
Speaker 1:Where have you found? That's been an issue.
Speaker 2:Well, certainly at home. You know, it's like these challenges and doing things are sort of quite impulsive, which can be seen as a good thing, and it's also not a good thing, because I'll just get an idea in my head and then of quite impulsive which can be seen as a good thing and it's also not a good thing, because I'll just get an idea in my head and then I'll kind of run with it before maybe asking about this or let's say, if somebody wanted to catch up, whatever, at 9 30 pm, I'm probably not going to say no, you know. So, yeah, you might change plans or do this or move things around. And, yeah, maybe the people close to you, you kind of put them to the to the background a little bit, which, yeah, is not good have you noticed, though, the older that you've gotten, that you've kind of stopped people pleasing as much as what you would have done before?
Speaker 2:yeah, definitely you realize. Certainly you have a family, a little son as well. Um, yeah, you realize and it's also something I tell people you have to have to be able to say no, like certainly it's not easy to do, sometimes even it has to be to your close friends or, uh, let's say, a boss at work we were just discussing this earlier like time, your time is so valuable now, um, and everything's so fast paced, there's so much going on that I don't think we ever take time for ourselves. So, yeah, as I've got older, I'm trying to. You know, self-care is so important. It's something I talk about, so I need to practice what I preach. Otherwise, yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 1:What would be the fundamentals that you'd focus on to stop people pleasing like and know whether you're making the right or wrong decision?
Speaker 2:right or wrong decision. Yeah, you just gotta again, coming back to time, you just gotta look like how, how is it benefiting me? You have to be selfish and think, um, whatever it is, whatever decision you make or whatever you're being asked to do, how is it gonna benefit you? What kind of toll is it gonna take? Like it might not even take its toll that day, but two days down the line you might feel it. Um, so you have to try and remove yourself from the situation.
Speaker 2:You know what's personal, what's professional, and often it's quite difficult because the people who are probably taking most of your time are often people closest to you, or, let's say, a boss, where it is difficult to say no. But hopefully people will respect your answers and realize that you know you can't keep. You know we all have now garments and whoops and things, data that is telling us we need to sleep more, we need to drink more water, so, as technology improves and it tells us that, you know, um, yeah, we need to kind of listen to ourselves a little bit more, I think.
Speaker 1:How do you become a really good listener of yourself?
Speaker 2:It takes practice. It does take time. Actually. It's not easy. So little things.
Speaker 2:Obviously it's easy to say, put social media down on phones, but you can start with like something I get people to do is, just when they're in the car, don't listen to any music. Certainly in Dubai we're spending a little bit more time in our car because you know traffic and whatnot. So just don't put any music on. Everything in life now is a distraction. Everything is a distraction from like our true selves and what's actually going on in our own heads. So certainly listening to yourself starts with you. So yeah, I always, when you're in a car, no music, just listen to your own dialogue. And it's actually quite difficult.
Speaker 2:I remember doing it myself and it is harder than it seems, but actually you get used to it and you start having maybe a few honest discussions with yourselves a little. When you kind of face, you know it's a great problem solver. Silence is a great, probably the best problem solver. So if you're running or in the gym no music, or going for a long, nice walk on the beach, like we do sometimes, you know don't stick any headphones in, you know doing something with somebody as well, and actually just you know, asking, taking time to listen to them. Sometimes we can spend like, right, I'm not going to talk for 10 minutes, I'm going to ask you questions for 10 minutes and then vice versa, and it's amazing how much just in 10 minutes you can realize a lot of answers that you need to to realize. Sometimes you don't want to realize them, but you have no choice how good of a listener are you?
Speaker 2:I still think I can improve, but I think I've definitely improved a lot. I don't think I used to be a good listener at all. I think I used to finish a lot of people's sentences and I'm formulating questions before that person is finished, which you should never do because they haven't finished speaking yet. So, yeah, parts of the courses that I kind of was studying and learning, yeah, I've definitely, I think, become a good listener, where you know let people finish. You know keep clear-minded, have no sort of expectations, just stay open. And it's also listening. You know you can listen with your eyes. You know you'll know this. So, seeing people's, you know body language. How are they sitting cross legs, arms felt, no, no.
Speaker 2:I was like this for a minute. That's fine, or you know, listening to their tone.
Speaker 1:I came dressed as an angel, so what more do you want I?
Speaker 2:mean, look what I'm wearing. I feel really terrible now, but I'm repping my ass, so I'll throw that in there quickly. But yeah, it's not just obviously listening with your ears, it's also listening with everything else, you know. So tone of voice are people speeding up when they talk, so that means maybe something might be a little bit more stressful or a bit more important in their life. You know, are they talking slowly? Are they talking loud, quiet? So there's actually multiple, multiple ways of listening to to what's being said. It's not just the words. You have to just listen for other things.
Speaker 1:So I think I've got okay yeah, I think listening is like a skill that most of us overlook, and now more than ever, it's a real struggle for people to listen to people for long periods of time because their attention span is so low yeah, I agree, and it's just um.
Speaker 2:Often people just want to be listened to. I think 90% of people's problems. If they were just able to actually get them off their chest and feel like they've been listened to, I think the world would be a better place. If you're in the workplace and something was you weren't happy with whatever and you go and tell your boss and they actually sit there and listen and you feel like you've been listened to. Usually that's enough to just be like okay, you know you always feel better when you get something off your chest anyway. So then if you feel like actually somebody listened to it and you might not get the right answer you want back or nothing might come of it, but I think if people just feel like they've been heard, I think that can solve actually a lot of problems when you were younger, did you feel like you were hurt enough?
Speaker 2:um, I don't think so in respects that. So I left school 16, I was playing a lot of tennis, traveling around kind of country the UK and Europe so you spend a lot of time by yourself. Yeah, most of the time is kind of by yourself, so it's I think it's quite difficult to get things yeah, maybe off your chest because there's probably actually not that many people around or certainly in your in like going through what I'm going through as well. So there's not many people to share experiences with. So it's probably that.
Speaker 1:How did you start your tennis career?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just was in school, so I was probably what was I? Eight, eight years old. In liverpool p teacher said to my mom oh, you seem to take a liking to tennis. Mom took me to a tennis club and that was kind of it. Like sport has always been a big thing in our family and you know, I have a brother who's six years older than me. He's extremely sporty as well. So inevitably, as all second borns are, they kind of get dragged to whatever the elder sibling is doing. So, yeah, my parents all played sports. So yeah, so I was playing everything, to be honest, but tennis was always the one I kind of took, took a liking to and it just kind of grew, yeah, moved down south towards the sort of center of excellence which was just outside London place called Bishop Abbey and what was competing like for you yeah, it was good fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was probably the easiest part of the journey. I did training. Now I look back and I had a lot of injuries, like everybody does when they're young, and operations and whatnot, but it was. I think my generation was the last of the generation where it was like push as hard as you can every day. The knowledge just wasn't there, certainly in the uk, I think. Actually in europe it probably was. I remember when I first started traveling to europe and you'd see, you know kids who are my age 13, 14, and they'd learn how to like squat properly or do a, let's say, a snatch properly.
Speaker 2:They weren't doing any weights, they were just using a stick yeah so then, when they eventually reached you know, muscular, you know when they were ready to start adding weight, they already had the technique. We were miles behind that.
Speaker 2:In the UK it was just run hard, you know bleep tests push-ups there was no like um, and I think it's got a little excuse me a little bit better now. But yeah, I think I was in the last generation where it's like if you just worked harder than everyone else, as in 100 every day, you'll be better, and it wasn't the right way because, yeah, my body was just breaking down and actually even just this run recently. I think I learned some stuff from my playing days and about I mean, I actually hate your cns, you know your central nervous system. It's a kind of a buzzword in workouts now. I think people use it too easily when they're a bit tired, it's like, oh, I don't want to fry my cns. It's like you have to really push hard to do it for one can you unpack that then?
Speaker 1:what does that mean?
Speaker 2:yeah, so when you put your body through like some serious stress for a long period of time it won't happen over one or two workouts. Just your central nervous system is fried, you're just on the edge so much that, yeah, your nerves just can't take the strain or the overload of what your body is kind of pushing through it and and what happens as a byproduct brain fog, decision making function.
Speaker 2:You're literally just walking and moving or, um, yeah, just like things, simple tasks, which, okay, I used to play a lot of tennis. When I played tennis, after my run for the first time, I could literally not hit the ball. I was terrible and I couldn't. I couldn't control my body. Like movements, it was like completely alien. Your it's like somebody else was holding a tennis racket, for example, so you just lose all feel after, after your current? No way, yeah yeah, you just lose all kind of basic movements of motion.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, it was quite interesting actually we haven't touched on this for the listeners. So, steven, do you want to really unpack what you've just done?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, I can't I'll try and remember as much as I can. So, um, yeah, I did. Uh, I ran slash. There was some walking in the this is.
Speaker 1:This is where I always find you're. You always play things down.
Speaker 2:No, for sure you play things down all the time. No.
Speaker 1:I've already learned it. I ran with you some part of the way, yeah.
Speaker 2:I remember that.
Speaker 1:And even you were, like you know, putting other people in front of you and putting other people first when you're running 560 kilometers yeah, so I did 560, yeah, 560 kilometers, but honestly, we'll get to now that I've obviously had time to reflect.
Speaker 2:Honestly, for me personally, I don't feel anything. No, no, I, I generally don't feel any sort of um like, uh, what's? The epiphany or like sort of pride necessarily in what I did. It was like just something that said work that had to be done and I did it. I was more proud of other people and more proud obviously. The money we raised was amazing.
Speaker 1:I was so happy. How much did you raise it?
Speaker 2:was just under 115 000 dirhams, which I didn't know what to expect. Yeah, you know I'm I don't like kind of sort of asking people for money.
Speaker 2:You know if they're not comfortable to donate, that's absolutely fine. I'm not maybe I should be more like banging down the walls, but I just want people to donate if they're in a position to do it. Um, so yeah, so the money we raise obviously super proud of that. But what started to happen, you know very quickly, is on all the people like yourself coming out to run. I was seeing like people who'd never met each other. I was watching like friendships forming in front of my eyes.
Speaker 2:That was making me proud so that was like this is that's just really nice to see and again, we mentioned it earlier people communicating and listening and just talking, like we don't see it anymore. It's difficult to just sometimes actually meet new people, yeah, and actually you know, when they're running and they're forced to have conversations in a way. So that was like I was really proud of that. I was really proud of people who'd maybe never. Yeah, there was some people who'd never run more than 8 or 10K and then they're throwing in 25K and it's like so that made me proud Because, like I say, this was for obviously, it was for Gaza, to raise some money for those poor people going through it at the moment. Yeah, it probably comes back to your first conversation about people pleasing and thinking of others, like, yeah, that's what made me, that's what I'm proud of. Is everybody else? For me, personally, it was just something that I'd set out to do and it was like how long ago did you decide you were going to do this?
Speaker 2:Probably it would have been in may. I think yeah. So some people might not know this. Like. I'm not a runner, like people are asking me like. So my little background is I did a marathon in 2015 in paris I I'm not joking. I didn't run again till last year in october, so I had about a nine year gap. I was working out, though, so I was doing CrossFit, so I would run like within the workouts, but I never went for a run per se, so I got back into it maybe, yeah, last, so October 2023, and I was just doing five, just doing sprints actually once a week, because I was just, yeah, I needed to do a bit more cardio.
Speaker 2:It was crossfit seasons and my cardio was lacking, so my friend Craig was like we need to start running a little bit. And then I did a long run in April. So I was like I'm gonna do a long run because I do enjoy running. Um, I did a long run in April 2024 and what was the long run for you?
Speaker 2:well, I just wanted to run for like 90 minutes, two hours, and just see what I did. I think I maybe I did 15 or 16k, but I must have walked the last 25, 30 minutes. I was so like unfit and just in terrible shape. I was like this is bad, like I've got to be able to run, so. So then I was like, okay, so I'm going to start getting back into my long distance running a little bit more. And then, yeah, so that was April 2024, so I guess May.
Speaker 2:I started thinking well, you know, if I'm going to get back into running, I may as well set a challenge for myself. Obviously, stuff had been going on in in Palestine, in Gaza, and I'd always like to do little challenges, one from for myself a little bit, and also to raise money for charity. I've always done a few things in the past. So I was like okay, so let's start linking the two together. And if I'm going to do something for charity, it's got to be big. I don't even know where the idea came from for 560 kilometers. Somebody probably sent me something. To be honest. No, I have these, I have these just ideas. Like I mentioned earlier, it's like I just think here and it's like okay let's do it yeah, like why not?
Speaker 2:yeah in a way, and I just think, um, and it was the length, I actually had looked up, I kind of looked at what the length of the e11 is, so the sheikh zayed road as we know it in dubai, so it runs from the saudi border um up to ras al khaimah, fijira, I think it is. And how long is that? 558 kilometers. I did 560 because it was easy to break down over five. For whatever reason, I actually did 566 kilometers, but that's a story for later 566?. I think it was your Garmin.
Speaker 1:I'm an ambassador for garment, but no, it's okay.
Speaker 2:They've been a bit better recently, uh no, it's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine. I had an issue with them as well it's okay.
Speaker 2:It's technology that we kind of needed, and it doesn't always work um yeah, so that was the distance and yeah, so what happened?
Speaker 1:I think it was like yeah, each day something.
Speaker 2:This was the cool. So what excites me always about these challenges is the unknown One. Like I do, like putting my body and mind through certain things. I don't mind pain, I like to see what I can endure. A little bit it was, you know, I wanted to push myself and see.
Speaker 1:Where does that come from?
Speaker 2:I think, just always up for a challenge. I don't know where my breaking point is as well, so I want to know actually, um, yeah, I want to know what my limit is, where it's like I have to quit. In a way, I feel like I sort of did, because I'd set out for five days and it did go longer, but in a way I didn't mind because, like I saw, when I saw the community and people coming together and when it's too far.
Speaker 1:To when is it? Does it get too far though?
Speaker 2:yeah, when I break when I can't do, when it's like something I'm not able to finish. Yeah, so that would be, and that's actually exciting to me. I want to know where that is. Yeah, they're probably. I don't know, it's just coming across a little bit. Well, no, no no this is.
Speaker 1:This is why I said to you earlier, I said I need to pick and choose what I apply myself to, because I'm too competitive that I won't give up we won't do an eating challenge together but then that comes your, with the risk that you're running, the risk of how far are you going to push yourself, that it's actually putting your health and yourself at risk yeah, yeah, I mean there's definitely an element of danger, I guess, to it.
Speaker 2:That's also a little bit of the exciting part. Like, again, I'm not gonna go. People have been sending me all sorts of things now as well. I'm not gonna push it to the point where, like you know, I'm gonna drop. You know you, you never know what might happen. But sometimes I think, like you know what I could get into a car accident on the road yeah or something could happen at any moment and at any time.
Speaker 2:So I kind of just think I'll just keep you know, just keep pushing it a little bit. Um, I didn't even have medical insurance for this oh, jesus christ. Oh my god, it's a bit naughty, can?
Speaker 1:we get a sponsor here for uh steven for the next challenge, please. If any insurance companies are watching this, he needs a sponsor, that's right yeah, so that was in the back of my mind, elizabeth. I forgot quite quickly about it I'll fucking remember for your next podcast.
Speaker 2:Excuse my language but I didn't even. I had like some really helpful people from disc and they were like we can get a doctor with you all day, and I didn't want it. I didn't want any help, I didn't want any kind of um things. Why, also, I wanted to put myself in a position so again, I was doing it for people in gaza who are going through hell every day, who have no choice about anything. And I wanted to put myself in a position so again I was doing it for people in gaza who are going through hell every day, who have no choice about anything, and I wanted to.
Speaker 2:I could never put myself in their shoes it would be absolutely wrong thing to say or do but I wanted to try and get myself in such a physical, mental way where maybe I could be with them by one percent of what they're feeling well like. Because I mean, it was one. Yeah, the Friday I was, I was in the worst pain I'd ever been in in my life. Yeah, undoubtedly why my legs, my quarter, literally blew up and my tendons were fried, um, but I did kind of want to feel that like I did.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, because I'm gonna say something that maybe you might enjoy me saying but but do you think that's helpful putting yourself through that kind of pain?
Speaker 2:um, probably no, no, definitely not. I don't recommend people doing this. By the way, yeah, I know it's great, it's silly, but the other flip side is that is, I also believe everybody is capable of doing amazing things. It doesn't have to be like this. For me, every person's accomplishments, goals, achievements, are on level path. So somebody running, who can I choose A guy called Darcy, 8 to 10K who did 25K? To me, that is the same achievement as me doing 560. I don't see any different like. That's somebody pushing themselves far beyond they'd ever thought they could do, which I was trying to do. So it's like for me, yeah, some people's Everest could be 10k, 50k or whatever. It doesn't really matter what the number is. It's definitely not helpful to push too far, but that's just for me. I just wanted to learn some lessons and deal with the adversity and and what. Lots of things crept up which I never even dreamed of thinking like. So yeah.
Speaker 2:So one day my watch just stopped at 106 kilometers on the first day. So I was running at the end and I remember looking down my watch and it said 106. I carried on running and it still said 106, like 0.1. I was like, maybe I just didn't read it right initially because obviously towards the end I tried to not look at my watch because time slows down. I just wanted to get it done.
Speaker 2:And then I probably did a little 3k loop and I looked down it was still 106.1 and I was like, what's good? Like my watch has just stopped, yeah, um. So I carried on running and I've just videoed my watch. So people, I put a post, I did put the post up and I still have the video. So, like people because you know people are like, oh, you didn't do it. And I would probably be like that with my friends if my watch clocked out at 10.06 and then I said I did 1.12. That's where the 5.66 comes from. So even though I finished at 1.12, I still made up six kilometers because my watch stopped at what else went wrong.
Speaker 1:That was unexpected.
Speaker 2:The funniest one I had was on the Wednesday, so I stayed in a. I just booked a room in a villa very close to the beach because I was sleeping maybe two hours a night, yeah. So, yeah, yeah, two, three hours a day maybe max I was sleeping. And on a wednesday night I had a rough evening as well, like vision went very narrow and I couldn't really feel my legs too much and I was getting really cold shakes. Uh, got home, battery was dead on my phone. I put my charger in. Nothing was happening.
Speaker 2:It's like already 11 yeah 11 pm and I've got to get up at 2 am. Uh, so obviously I've only got three hours to go, so I put my charger in and nothing's happening on my phone. I'm like, no, it's also my alarm to wake up as well yeah um, I know, so it was on a thursday because I was jamiro johns on a friday. So yeah, so people arranged to like a group had come to meet me so so I was like I had to be there.
Speaker 1:I was there. I think I'm the first yeah yeah, you were there.
Speaker 2:So I tried a different plug socket. Nothing was happening. The power had gone out in the villa. But it's 11 pm Because I'd been there maybe 10 hours in four days. I didn't know anyone, I don't know who was in charge. I'd never even met the person. There was other people staying so I couldn't just go knocking on doors and for about yeah, an hour. Then the lights just came on at my child. But I was laughing. I found that quite funny. I was like I was so tired, I just wanted to go to sleep. And it's like you can plan for everything, but you know, you just the power gone in these like beautiful old villas.
Speaker 2:I was just giggling.
Speaker 1:I just found it funny. Sometimes I think in moments like that, it's like a test, it's like a little bit of a tester and see how far I can push it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it was a good giggle Again, I did find it quite comical. You can try and plan for things and yeah, I never thought I'd plan for the power going out in the house.
Speaker 1:So day one. How did you feel after day one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, fine. Yeah, day one was okay. Got what I set out to do done. Yeah, it felt okay. I guess the issue is I was still going home so I would have finished, I think about 6.30. I live in Town.
Speaker 2:Square as well. So from beach to town square when I was driving back took me ages to get back. Traffic and um lost some valuable time and then up early. So that's when I realized I need to try and stay um somewhere a little bit closer just to start saving that time, because I knew this was going to be hard obviously and what was the feel like for the day one?
Speaker 1:I did see you eating a lot of fried chicken yeah, fried chicken.
Speaker 2:I mean, it was just a lot. Obviously I've never done anything like this, so each day was a learning curve. Yeah, just peanut butter sandwiches. Yeah, chips, chicken. Obviously when you're doing kind of these events, you can pretty much literally eat everyone flapjacks and oats, chocolate bars was there anything that you ate that really upset your stomach? I got away with it. No, my stomach was okay I don't know how you manage?
Speaker 1:I don't really know how as well nails inside there I've eaten some things.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you it's been through some stuff. My stomach, um, I don't know. There's also a certain part of me which is always like everyone says you're going to get an upset stomach and I was like why I don't believe it. I don't believe it until I'm in it, in a way because I hadn't had any issues in the build-up or in the training and it's even like we can go into, like the pain cave, or sometimes I call it the pain tunnel. Prefer the pain tunnel because it's always light at the end always thing you can get out of it.
Speaker 2:But I don't really. I choose not to believe it in a way, because it's also like I'm gonna hurt at some point. I don't want to.
Speaker 2:If people talk about the pain cave. So when they start hurting they're like oh no, um, if this is about to get but I'd already prepared for it to be like terrible, yeah, like the worst pain imaginable. So when it's like, when you're in the pain, it's just I don't know. I get just go into a zone where, like I'm on autopilot, where it's like you know, you're driving a car and you get someone you're like I can't even actually remember driving, in a way that's.
Speaker 1:That's pretty much what I was like all week so by day day two, how did you feel like, yeah, okay, yeah, absolutely fine yeah, no, I was.
Speaker 2:I was surprised. Actually, I didn't really think I was going to struggle quite badly, but no, day two, I guess, yeah, my coach Blair should shout him out because he's prepared me well for it. Day two I was okay. Yeah, had no um, but my feet already started to get a bit like I felt the blisters burst on day one, but it's like I knew it was going to happen really. So it's like sort of it was no and what about the shoe situation?
Speaker 1:I know obviously you're rocking asics now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I haven't cleaned them yet because it's like they're still still pride in in the dirtiness of them. I wore these, yeah, so asics obviously kitted me out, so I had a variety of shoes between sort of. So I wore the gel Kayano's 31s, just like a good stable shoe, comfy bit of space in the shoe, and then maybe I wore these Nova Blast, which are a little bit lighter yeah just on the feet, as my feet started to swell a little bit as well, where did you feel at the most?
Speaker 1:like your knees, your hips, or like at the beginning?
Speaker 2:for the first, my toes your toes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bad blisters and yeah, really.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, they're not good. I've got some pictures I haven't put online yet, but it is grim like it's really bad, like now see, now it's gone um, I actually didn't realize.
Speaker 1:So I'm prepping for a half marathon, which is nothing but no, it's not.
Speaker 2:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't say that it's something and you know, I didn't realize that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're, you lose your, your toenails yeah, yeah, I mean, you got nice toenails. So they're fake you're gonna do fake toes by the end of this, I'd say because it parts of the shoe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um yeah, but I just never really knew that that was a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nobody tells you about this I mean, I don't even know all of these things. People are asking me all sorts of questions. I don't want, I'm going to stop you. I don't know anything about running, I just I'm just putting my shoes on and go again. I almost don't want to know too much, because then you start you're better off.
Speaker 1:Sometimes less is less is better. For me it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen there's two types of people in. Some people like to know a gym workout before they go in yeah, and some people don't know yeah, we're probably. Just I don't want to know until I see it yeah it's just then. It's just work that's got to be done. I don't build it up, I don't really sort of yeah, you can start second guessing yourself and so what was it like the couple of days beforehand?
Speaker 1:were you second guessing yourself?
Speaker 2:no, no, it was very calm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's like I prepared mentally a lot for it. I guess to like, I knew I was going to be the hardest thing I'd ever done. I knew it was going to be rough, but it's one of those that I knew I was going to. I always knew I was going to get through it, the distance anyway. So, yeah, there's no again, I didn't want to use too much adrenaline. Sometimes people get too pumped and then they get adrenaline dumps before they start or they get emotional, um before it or whatever it's like. I just try and stay completely sort of level-headed and I play it down. You probably see, I play down things quite a lot. So it was just, it was just like work. I don't see it any different as somebody going to work. Really, I, that's just how I put it. It's just like that's the distance I've set. I'm just gonna do it so day three.
Speaker 1:I think that was the day that you had blurred vision yeah, so day three I felt okay.
Speaker 2:Actually in the morning was good what did you eat that day?
Speaker 1:you probably can't even remember.
Speaker 2:Your mind is that yeah, actually I know what happened. So, funny enough, I had a good morning. I think I'd had a good rest in the middle, so it was the first time I took a little. I started to break in the day from like 12 till 3 just to try and get an hour's nap, and so it was the first day I'd had a good nap and I felt really good. So I ate a really good lunch and I think I I think I ate too much too. I think I ate too well.
Speaker 2:So when I started running again maybe I was a little bit heavy and obviously still 3pm it was quite warm. It was still quite warmer than I thought actually and I just wasn't digesting very well. I wasn't didn't feel sick or anything, but I could just feel and I was trying to eat and it wasn't quite going. And then I think I hit about the 80K mark and I had a massage gun which I stopped using actually because again it was a distraction and I started using it on my legs and I couldn't feel it. Couldn't feel it on my legs and I was pushing in quite hard. I was like, okay, maybe I'm just confident, it's fine.
Speaker 2:I was carrying on and I was starting to realize I couldn't see the people next to me when I was running. I was like I didn't tell anybody this at the time as well. Well, I started to tell them. Well, they started to know. I felt it was feeling a bit rough, and then I put my hand up by the side of my face and I couldn't see it. So, basically, all I could see was the track just in front of me again.
Speaker 2:It was like I kind of knew something was going to happen like this anyway, so I didn't really panic. But I was like, okay, my body is actually. I think it was more mental than I know. It was physical things, but I didn't feel bad. It's just like my vision was narrowing and then then I started to get really cold, like quite quite the shakes, I guess you can call them.
Speaker 1:So I knew my body was going through something and at that stage, did anyone understand what you were? Did you explain to yeah, there were some people there.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm just going to take a few minutes, like I'm not feeling, feeling so well, and I started to have to put more clothes on because I was feeling cold. And I just listened to my body. I was like, look, let's just call it a day here. But what you said said earlier, it's like. You know, I'm not an athlete, I'm not necessarily in a race of some sort, so you know, my body was going through something. You know, maybe I should have carried on a little bit more, but it's like I'm just going to listen to it and I'm going to take a little bit more rest and just kind of calm it down and then, yeah, probably eat a bit more food and yeah, like I didn't eat very well in the evenings the Monday, tuesday, wednesday, I don't think I got the balance right.
Speaker 1:Again, learning you're learning on the job as you go so on the Wednesday night then were you a bit worried going to bed then, or?
Speaker 2:not. No, I finished a tiny bit earlier so I was quite happy to get to bed. No, no, I was not. Honestly, there was. I hope this hasn't come across like big headaches. I hate, I'm definitely not that type of person. There was never one moment I didn't think I was going to get it the distance done. I knew at the time was going to be a bit tricky uh the five days but I always knew I was going to finish the distance.
Speaker 1:Um, was there any kind of odd places where your mind gravitated towards?
Speaker 2:again, it's quite, it's very surreal. It's hard to explain. I really can't remember so much. But no, no, I was either in autopilot mode probably if people noticed I wasn't talking, I was just off somewhere, like I don't go to places, or I don't dig deep, I just go blank. It's like you know, if you've done something enough, in practice it becomes autopilot. For me, that's actually just being in pain. You know I've had a lot of operations and I've been injured, played a lot of sports. Really from the age of 13 I've been in certainly constant physical pain and through that you learn how to get through it. So like being in pain for me is kind of it's not. It's not a big big deal or an issue. It's probably why I seek it in a way do you?
Speaker 1:do you feel like there's a connection in between pain and achievement?
Speaker 2:um, yeah, yeah, I mean you have to put yourself through a little, a little bit of pain. Yeah, you can't stop just because of it. Once you accept it and and know you're gonna, and you know it's gonna hurt you it, once you accept it and know you're going to, and you know it's going to hurt, you're ready for it. You know, if you just think that you're going to get away with it and nothing's going to go wrong or you're not going to be in pain, then when it does go wrong you're going to panic, whereas if you're ready for it and you've experienced it and you know it's coming, when you know it's coming, when it hits it's like and again I wanted to kind of know what would happen or how much pain might I be in um, yeah, which Friday? Friday was the worst day. Thursday was the best day and then Friday was the worst, funnily enough so what happened on Friday?
Speaker 2:I just woke up and my body was not not feeling good at all and I started running. My my right quad was just it's like I was being stabbed every single step. Um, and I started to notice it was swelling up a little bit, but again I was kind of getting through the work, sort of just off, again a bit autopilot, but then I started to feel quite nauseous, sick, like I was going to vomit from the pain. So I was like, okay, something, it was like that little zone, my autopilot mode. I was like being dragged back to reality a little bit because, excuse me, I was like I'm gonna be sick here at any moment. Um, and then I stopped and I sat down for one minute and my quad just went. It just like exploded.
Speaker 2:It was uh, yeah, it's like the size of a football. I was quite shocked. Yeah, it was so big. I don't know how. I haven't got very big quads. Yeah, I could not believe how big it went. Yeah, and a blessing there's a chap called Anders, who did a big excuse me, my gosh, my body's still recovering who did a big lot of runs with me all week. He was up there with kind of probably running the most with with me. He's trying to massage it and yeah, I could see in his face there's a picture of me just lying on the floor.
Speaker 2:I was still smiling yeah but like, I was in the most agony, like my leg, and I'd never seen that from a quad, I didn't think it could quite. Again I've got big legs, um, but I was seeing a chap called ross from escape the pain, brilliant, brilliant. I would highly recommend them, um, for anyone who's going through injury, physio, rehab, massages. They're like, yeah, you can tell by the name, they know their stuff escape the pain, brilliant. So I knew I was seeing him. So I had to call it a day a little bit earlier on that Friday and I thought I'll just go and lie down, have a rest. And I was pleased because when I was in bed lying down it wasn't so painful.
Speaker 2:So I knew if you're lying down in bed and something is still excruciating pain, there's something wrong yeah like it's waking you up at night or the pain is not going away away when you're lying down and you probably need to call a doctor. But I noticed like my leg. I was like, okay, it's not hurting as much. Um, and again I was thinking, okay, what if I can't run or walk? How am I going to get through this? So 150K to go. So ordered some crutches afternoon.
Speaker 2:No way yeah yeah, I was like if I have to do 150 kilometers on crutches, then I'll just do 150. It was like that's the simple solution. But he managed to get out and it was just basically my tendons above my knee were fried and obviously by the end you're not running very well, so all the pressure through my knee and basically my front quad was taking everything. My left toes were mangled, so all the dead blood and then things were just building on top of it.
Speaker 2:so he kind of flushed it out like just I did not think I was going to be able to get back out on a friday evening yeah but yeah, I managed to get out probably I think, I didn't know maybe 25, 30k that evening and then it was the saturday, then that was the last.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I finished on a sunday actually terrible really, isn't it?
Speaker 2:no, oh my god, would you actually stop?
Speaker 1:560k. He's done in like a week it was.
Speaker 2:yeah, it seems a bit weird now, but the Saturday morning I just felt sick. Yeah. My body had been through a lot but I was fine, Like I could deal with that. So, yeah, Saturday and Sunday were okay Because I knew I was getting towards the end as well, and people at the weekend, people around, Like I knew I'm on a home stretch now. So 100K.
Speaker 1:What was the hardest thing that?
Speaker 2:you know. So you're not getting. You're getting two, three hours max a day, which is is not much. The leg pain on the friday was was quite sore, but there wasn't really anything where it was like, oh my god, I can't do this. The worst part was probably afterwards. When I finished, my son wasn't very well. He had like a fever, so he was up. He couldn't sleep, which means I couldn't sleep. So obviously I was tired and I was kind of hoping I could just crash and whatnot, so, bless him, he wasn't feeling very well. Um, that was the hardest part. So I didn't get a good night's sleep for for quite a while and yeah, I think I put something on my Instagram was having some mad dreams, like real what were your dreams like?
Speaker 2:I would wake up really vivid, really vivid. But I would wake up in the night like massive pain in my body and in my head. It's like I've got to get up. I still thought I was in the run week, so I had to lie there for literally about a minute and talk to myself that I don't actually have to get up to go and run, like my body and brain was still in. I mean, that went on. That really only stopped a couple days ago. So for nine or ten days straight I'd wake up every night in like, yeah, intense pain and I'd have to reason with myself that was that intense pain psychological?
Speaker 2:once I realized that I didn't have to get up and run, I was so happy, I was like elated. I just fell back asleep again. The pain went immediately. It's like that was probably the coolest thing actually, because like it's just incredible what the brain and body and a couple of people have reached out to me and have had who've done you know, there's so many amazing athletes around the world and the UAE and some people have had a similar experience who've done some really long, long kind of uh, yeah, silly really.
Speaker 1:Endurance, sure thing is quite common apparently there's such a link in between, even like how you wake up in the morning time, say, for someone who's hates their career right now or doesn't enjoy life right now, maybe they might wake up and they might experience this. Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:I'm sure when people things aren't going well, you know nightmares, night terrors, wake up with sweats or distress, they can't sleep. So um, so yeah, but it, yeah, I mean it's all mental and it's like, yeah, you've just got to always just stay calm, reason with yourself. That's why, again, we were talking earlier about distractions and self-care and listening to yourself. We listen to everybody else. We're trying to listen to yourself. It's like I've got a pretty good understanding of me, so it's like I can reason with myself. That sounds silly. We all have that kind of secondary voice in our heads. Some people might not even know it because they never listen to it, but I have a pretty good relationship with my sort of second voice, where it's like you know, we just yeah, stay, stay calm.
Speaker 1:How? How is your second voice now after doing that run? Do you think you've learned a lot through that?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, definitely. I think it's like um, yeah, yeah, you do. Usually that second voice, I think, for a lot of people might be negative. You know, it's like you might want to do something, and then that other voice is like oh, you can't do it, you're not going to be able to do it, whereas they say 80% of your narrative is negative.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, once it knows. That's why you've got to kind of keep pushing yourself in anything, really Set yourself goals and push them, because then you learn, once that brain or your second voice knows like you're not going to quit or you're going to do something, it becomes like your friend, it's like on your side. Almost there was again. There was no point in that that, run over the week, not one second that I think I was not gonna, I was gonna quit or I didn't want to do or I didn't want to be there. There was not a second of it because like, yeah, I just knew what I knew I was, it had to be done.
Speaker 2:Wasn't a case of wanting to do, it's like had to be done really. So like you can get it on your side a little bit. But that's why all those little tips of you know turning no music in the car, you're just spending some time, walk by yourself on the beach again no music. The more you kind of talk to yourself and you have that kind of inner dialogue, you'll start making some good decisions do you think you've found any sort of appreciation of being away from technology?
Speaker 1:you're not really having your phone running all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, I mean I'm not. I have such a love hate relationship with social media. I wish we didn't need it, but I guess we kind of we do. I just don't like people's view of um, yeah, social media. I wish we didn't need it, but I guess we kind of we do. I just don't like people's view of um, yeah, social media. I mean, part of this run, honestly, was like I just wanted to show people that you don't need to have an eight pack, or I mean, look at me, I've like perfected the skinny, fat body.
Speaker 2:No, it's not, it's not it's still I thought I would at least have abs after this, by the way, but now I didn't eat a lot of calories. I I burnt a lot, but I ate a lot. It's just sometimes to show people like you don't. Sometimes, I think, people look at social media. When I've spoken to people, they need to look a certain way in order to do.
Speaker 1:I was writing a chapter in my book today about this about perfectionism and the reality of what goes on behind the scenes of a fitness influencer on Instagram.
Speaker 2:I mean, you've seen it firsthand. Yeah, so, you know, it's like it's easy for fit people to do fit things.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't necessarily mean that they're healthy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't mean they're healthy, it doesn't mean they're fit as well. You know, I like to think not many people can maybe do what I did, which is, you know, I'm not a runner. I don't look a book by its cover and that don't be put off by what you see online, like the more and more I've got into it and you see, like you know runners, and so the advice they're giving is like, well, that's not what I experienced. I've probably done a little bit more. Um, so it's just to show people that, yeah, you don't have to look a certain way to to do anything. Don't be put off, you can do a lot. You know people. Kind of I think people's power potential is limitless. I really do. I kind of like to try and use me as an example for that a little bit.
Speaker 1:You are an example, your own model for doing that honestly I don't know about that take it as a compliment. You need to learn. You need to learn how to say thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm not good, but I honestly don't see it as honestly for me personally. Maybe it's a sad way of looking at it. I don't feel kind of anything towards myself so what was the end?
Speaker 1:and like because I know you were kind of would have wanted to have a bit of a monumental moment, but you, I think you explained that it wasn't like this end and that was just magical, it was just yeah no, what I was really happy with, like I'm I'm not a crier and, um, I would like to be like I do try and get emotional about things and I am.
Speaker 2:I am emotional but so not crying. So I was quite pleased I cried at the end I'm not ashamed to admit that, by the way so I posted it up, the um for a few seconds like the yeah, I guess it did get overwhelming, just the fact that you finished and uh, it's definitely not a bad thing to cry. It's a good thing to cry. So I was quite pleased that I broke a little bit mentally that way. Um, but no, there was no like overwhelming sense of sort of pride for myself.
Speaker 2:Again, I was just more proud of everybody else coming out to support and giving up. Like I said, I value time and I value people's time a lot, extremely high. So for people like you there at the end, so for people to come out and take time out of their day, and they've got to plan their day when they're going to go out, got to get traffic, the parking to come, like, see me, you know I take that, I value that. You know how people choose to spend their time. So, um, I'm always proud of people for that and giving up their time.
Speaker 1:So for for the, the preparation of the 560k and the duration of it. Have you lost any behaviors or habits?
Speaker 2:I don't know because of that? Um, that's a good question. Have I lost any behaviors or habits? I don't think so. I hope I've gained some.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they've improved well, what have you gained?
Speaker 2:behaviors and habits since the 560k, because I guess habits, yeah, certainly, I guess that's one thing I really did learn was, like I've mentioned it a lot already just even then, like time, um, and like the urgency even on myself. Actually I don't think I've maybe maximized actually my whole life, probably, um, up until this room, where it's like I'm always quite calm and I'm quite placid, that I need to be a little bit more, yeah, urgent. And it's like I've had friends just recently, like you know, really good friends, super fit, doing really well, just had a heart attack, 40, yeah, he's an unbelievable shape, and they don't know why, they don't know what went on and I don't. Maybe, as you get older and you start seeing these things, maybe around you, it's like you realize that you're not going to live forever time is finite and it's like you've got to make the most of it.
Speaker 2:Such a a tough kind of world and, realistically, we think we have a long, a lot of time. Um, that's something now I would. You asked me a question a long time ago what would I tell my younger self? And I would always say, no, nothing. You know you've lived through it for a reason and this and that now I will be like you don't have time. I would tell any youngster, anybody actually it doesn't matter who they are, what age they are you don't have time to get what you need done because you just don't know what's going to happen. So really the learning learning for me was that, yeah, gotta be a little bit more urgent and just trying to get things done and like, because you can get things done, just have to be a little bit more, yeah, proactive about your life a little bit and yeah, how you choose to spend your time so, with that being said, being proactive on life, what has made you want to be proactive on now, after your 560 kilometers?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, obviously I've got some of the, got another one planned, but but it's more, like I say, my passion is for people and helping people. So now it's like you know that's one thing I could say I'm proud of myself was bringing a community together and lots of new people. So I feel like maybe that's something I can continue to explore and try and bring more people together and I want to help people. But now I like I really want to help people, like hurry up, because I know everything this is creating an urgency inside you.
Speaker 2:I can really feel it because I know everybody's got something going on. But I've got things going on. You've got things going on the kind gentleman editing this beautiful video who said he's going to do it perfectly. He's got things going on. So it's like I just want people to get it going because I know it's holding them back and I don't want anybody to be held back in in anything they're doing, because it doesn't need to hold them back. That's that's the key thing and that they can really do anything they want. So, like I said, I had a passion for people and I had like urgency, but I was like I really want to just sort of help people. But also I understand you can't go up to people and like what's wrong with you? Tell me there's a process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to do that, but you can motivate them through your action but that's what I'm trying to do and maybe that's what I'm a little bit better of, and you know, maybe. So yeah, so I've got another run planned end of January and how long is that run?
Speaker 2:that's just going to be 24 hours non-stop. So I want to run for 24 hours, um, yeah, non-stop. Probably going to do that for lebanon as a ue for lebanon drive. So you know I have a personal goal. Well, I want to try and raise a million dirhams, I guess, for charity. So you know, I've got to keep doing things like that. That's just another way of helping and giving back. So, um, yeah, so 24 hour run. My lebanese friends said make sure you're doing in the evening. They're like we will not get up in the morning. They're like, doesn't matter who you are, we won't get up in the morning. That made me laugh. That are like so that'd be like from 9 pm till 9 pm, because also, obviously, the five days week is good but it's quite tough logistically small sun, lots of things going on and planning and whatnot. So 24 hours and that's still be a good challenge and I will set a distance in mind.
Speaker 2:Maybe you know I'd like to try and complete four marathons in a day I'll be watching on that one I'll be running with you on that one yeah oh, I just want to raise money and again maybe bring people together. It was such a fun. Yeah, I was so happy to see people. Yeah, maybe just even for an hour in their day, just to get out of work, go down to the beach blue skies, the weather's nice. It's like what's there to complain?
Speaker 1:about. Yeah, exactly so, because it's called the detached podcast. I have a run and tradition question to ask you, here we go. What would you detach yourself? That's limiting you today, if there's anything that's really holding you back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess that. Yeah, there is. I'm trying to narrow it down to one thing what would I most detach myself from? What would I most detach myself from? I guess yeah, actually probably what we said at the start not being so selfish in my decision making and sometimes just thinking a little bit more. Like I say, I get these ideas in my head and it's just a little bit like go. So maybe I need to be a little bit more thoughtful of the people kind of closest to me and respect their time as well. You know I talk about time. I've mentioned it a thousand times already. Yeah, maybe I don't actually show enough respect to the people who are closest to me in terms of their time. So I guess I can detach myself from my selfishness is my answer.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think you're very selfish with everything that you've done in terms of raising money and everything else as well, but it's yeah look the people who are closer to you. There are the people that really matter the most, as well so sometimes it's hard to remember these things when you're getting after your passion and trying to do other things to look after other people.
Speaker 2:But yeah, the people who are close to you really matter the most, I think yeah, and sometimes it's too easy, isn't it, to be like I mean your friends or your family, to be like I'm going just to sort of not treat them, maybe, with the same level not respect is the wrong word, but yeah, value because they are, you've been whatever, you've known them forever. So you can be like, oh, I'm gonna cancel on the plan or not do this, or okay, I'm gonna do this. Actually, no, that's the wrong thing to do, yeah, so sometimes I just need to be a little bit better, I think for the people closer to me here well, thank you for being on the detached podcast.
Speaker 1:This is the second time you've been on and I think we're gonna have round tree when you have your um, your challenge.
Speaker 2:After that we should do it while I'm running. Yeah, yeah, I can't remember anything. God knows what I've said to people oh, that's tough, I know.
Speaker 1:Anyway, thank you for being on you're the best host.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much, and sophia's been with me every step of the way and put a good shift in during that week and super supportive and yeah, no. So so you have to do an interview on yourself one day.
Speaker 1:I'll let you interview me. Oh, I want it, I want to be as good as you though.
Speaker 2:Cheers to that. I can tell you that yeah.