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E:72 Rhea Jacobs on Self-Care, Confidence, and Personal Growth

• Sophia Delavari • Season 1 • Episode 72

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What happens when you prioritize wellness from the start, rather than waiting for success to knock on your door? Visionary entrepreneur Rhea Jacobs joins us to share her transformative journey of founding Ray, a wellness brand making self-care accessible to all. Rhea debunks the myth that wellness is a luxury reserved for the elite, sharing how her experiences with burnout illuminated the need for integrating small moments of self-care into our hectic lives. Her story is a celebration of nurturing oneself to become not just a successful leader, but a thriving one.

Our discussion unfolds layers of personal growth and identity, moving beyond the linear pursuit of a single purpose. Ria urges us to value purposeful connections and to nurture relationships founded on mutual support. We explore the art of handling criticism, learning from life's everyday moments to foster continuous growth. Journaling and meditation are presented as tools for self-reflection, encouraging an appreciation of the journey itself. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to explore the multifaceted nature of identity and to nourish personal evolution with every step we take.

Check Rhea out on instagram : https://www.instagram.com/therjacobs?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode, DROP ME A DM on instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sophiadelavari/ Thank you for listening.

LOVE,

Soph

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Speaker 1:

welcome back to another episode of the detached podcast. Today I have ria jacobs on and I actually met ria jacobs at dubai active show and she was a little star that I never actually came across until I met her at a fitness event and I just want to say thank you for coming today to be on the Detached podcast. So I just want to give the listeners a little bit of a description of who you are right now when it comes to your job, profession, because I know you've walked all walks of life and you've kind of thrown your hand at many different things. So right now, what is Ria up to?

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. So right now, I'm an entrepreneur. I run a wellness brand called Ray, and our concept for Ray is wellness for everybody, because that's a thing that I strongly believed in, where wellness is not something that's just for the elite. Everyone has problems, everyone has traumas that they need to deal with, regardless of who you are, what walk of life that you come from. I wanted to create a platform where it was accessible.

Speaker 2:

It was realistic in a way, because my mom never had the privilege to I don't know go to the Himalayas for like a retreat or something, because life was hard, but at the same time, something like journaling was something she could have incorporated into her life back then, because it doesn't take time and it's something that she can just access. So this idea of wellness being something that you explore after you've made your money didn't sit well with me, because you see entrepreneurs, they've achieved so many things and it's then that they start to invest in their health and they do these diets and all these things. But I'm like you, you need to do that from day one. So that's how Ray was born, basically, and you.

Speaker 1:

You just said um how wellness is like you know, after you've achieved everything right. Where do you think that misconception comes from? Where wellness isn't an opportunity for anyone?

Speaker 2:

because, uh, we think, I think we're. The truth is, we've been given an illusion where we've been taught productivity and being busy is far more important than being at peace and investing in yourself. Nowadays, we wear it like a badge of honor oh, I had two hours of sleep and I'm working and, and it's not even from a sense of regret, it's more like an honor, like, oh, I, I'm sacrificing my health and my mental peace to get work done, because that's who we are now. I think the most rebellious thing that you can do today is to take rest and regardless of what walk of life that you come from.

Speaker 2:

And this idea where you think investing in yourself is only something that you do once you've made your money or once you've achieved because you don't have that privilege yet, it's a very wrong concept. You could be in a nine to five job and still be burnt out and still say I need to invest time in myself, like I, yes, I have a job, yes, I have to go home and cook food for the kids and do what I have to do in a single income home or like in like an average income home. But that person needs care too, that person needs love too, and that is some that is a narrative that people need to know.

Speaker 1:

being at peace is the new revolution in a way you know, I often like to call it busy fill syndrome, yeah, where you know you're seen as being super busy all the time feels like you're ticking a box, but in reality it's like what are you actually achieving? And some of the most successful people I've met within the world have managed to be able to pause in life, but there is a large portion of successful CEOs and entrepreneurs that are out there that do not stop. So what's your thoughts on that? Do you think you can be a successful entrepreneur or CEO without taking those little breaks?

Speaker 2:

See, as an entrepreneur, being an entrepreneur myself there are a lot of things that I need to do. There are a lot of things that I need to achieve. Yes, I can't stop a meeting because I need to go and meditate. Things that I need to achieve. Yes, I can't stop a meeting because I need to go and meditate. The other day, I was on a holiday in Bhutan with my family and we had like a corporate order come in and there were some issues with the delivery date. So I was in Bhutan texting, like the people here to make sure it was done, because that's what you do in a business, like when there's people relying on you, you can't just say sorry, guys, I need my wellness moment Because it's a job. It's not just me. There are so many other people who are dependent on me.

Speaker 2:

Having said that, in order for me to be a strong leader, in order for me to be the pillar of the business, I need to be strong myself. My foundation needs to be intact, and that happens when I nurture myself as an individual. How does that happen? We're taking realistic, small moments throughout the day instead of like a huge chunk of my time, small things that I can do, integrating a wellness into my day, rather than changing my entire schedule to make sure that I get it, because that's not realistic, especially when you have a business. You're on all the time. So I find it much more better to do that in a way where I'm doing my work, people can depend on me. At the same time I'm nourishing myself, so my cup is full. It's only when my cup is full can I pour in two. I mean it might work for a year, might work for two years, but at the end of the day, when you're burnt out, then what?

Speaker 1:

Have you found yourself burnt out?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. That's how Ray was born. There's this very important thing that I believe in where the world kind of makes you stay away from your darkness or be scared of your darkness, but I believe it's within your darkness that you uncover the most beautiful light, and that light for me was Ray. Ray started at a time it was during a COVID.

Speaker 2:

It was a very scary time for a lot of us and I was also going through something else where I just gone through the loss of my mom's mom, who I'm very close to. She passed away in November. Covid started March, so it didn't really I didn't really have a moment to heal and I just went one thing after another and then COVID happened and I was the kind of person who used to base my self-worth on my work, like my work was who I am. It was not what I did. And then when I was at home, like everybody else, I'm like what am I? Who am I you?

Speaker 2:

know, and it started at a moment where I was lost and I was like, on on paper, I am happy and I'm doing great things, but in my mind I don't feel at peace, like we take credit in being busy rather than being at peace, when, at the end of the day, when you're at peace is when you can do incredible things that can change your life. Ray was born because I I decided I needed to invest time in myself and take care of my mental health. I started to journal because I'm very shy and I take very long to open up to people. So I said, okay, I write, there's no judgment and I was like this is so helpful, like I need to get this to people, because I didn't know what to write, how to journal, and that's how Ray was born. So from my darkness came my light. So when you say shy.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, weren't you?

Speaker 2:

modeling before. Yeah, you need to understand the psyche as to why I started modeling. So, growing up, I was a very shy kid. I would never speak to you. My mom would drag me to speak to people. So fashion and beauty became a way of me expressing myself. Modeling happened because I wanted to do it, but there were times on set where I felt like I didn't even deserve to be there, like I would call my mom and be like I don't belong here and she's like baby, that's not your dad, that's not your mom, like they're not trying to do you a favor, like they believe in you. It's time that you believe in yourself. So a huge portion of my modeling career was me not believing in myself. Being shy, being introverted yes, I owe a lot to it because it helped me talk like this and be more open, but it was a journey like I still am, at the end of the day, a shy person. But this is like my job.

Speaker 1:

It's like a switch that goes on and off yeah, so when it comes to modeling, is there any kind of external pressures on yourself to look a certain way?

Speaker 2:

absolutely, because at the end of the day, yes, it's an industry that sells dreams, because I'm here because of that dream that someone sold to me right and I believed that I could. And there's a beauty of this industry that you can change the narrative. I mean, in the 80s or 90s, no way would a girl who was five to a little brown girl be in any kind of magazine or publication, a little brown girl be in any kind of magazine or publication. But to be part of a change, with so many girls of different ethnicities, skin colors are coming out and changing the narrative, that's powerful.

Speaker 2:

But at the end of the day, we're also selling an illusion, meaning when I'm on set I have the best light, the best makeup artist, the best hair. To come back home to wipe off all that makeup, to wash off all that hair gel and look in the mirror and still be like you are worth it, you are beautiful. And to find beauty in your individuality. It's a huge challenge Because, at the end of the day, what sets you apart is you. But we don't understand that it's easier to look at her and be like, oh my god, she's six foot two, blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous yes, but there's also beauty in me that you know that the world doesn't necessarily appreciate back then, but now they do.

Speaker 1:

Was it after your modeling career that you found a more positive narrative? Whilst modeling, or for the duration of it, did you constantly have to pep talk yourself?

Speaker 2:

not at all. Not at all. Actually, I think being in modeling being also content creation because I did that side by side I truly removed the fear of being judged, because when you're on set you do the craziest looks and everything. So that judgment of is this too much? Like if I wear this, will people say something or do I look nice? That all that is gone away because you're so fearless where you're like this is cool, like I want to do it, let's do it. It's more about you expressing yourself. I owe it a lot to that industry and my career started with Marc Jacobs, where I was their beauty ambassador, and being a part of a platform like that, where your individuality was celebrated, was powerful to me. So I do that. I believe everything is a journey. There's no step one, step two. So I do believe a lot of the self-doubt was self-imposed than external, because anyone can tell you anything, but at the end of the day, it's only when you believe it that you give it power so, yeah, so growing up, like where were your parents from?

Speaker 2:

so my parents are from India. They moved to the UAE when I was really small, so I did my school here.

Speaker 1:

I did my uni here do you think, uh, growing up in India is quite a powerful I would say background to have when it comes to meditation, yoga, because I feel like I've looked up, you know yoga teacher training and the best places in the world are in India, of course, so I think it's very um, you're surrounded, I suppose, in in India, by the best places in the world to become a bit more in tune with yourself. Do you think that has had an impact in how you practice today?

Speaker 2:

You know, see, at the end of the day, I do feel like I know that's very stereotypical of me to say no, no we need to ask questions like this.

Speaker 2:

See, let me give you a background. See, let me give you a background being a third culture kid where I grew up in Dubai. I'm from India. When I used to go to India, I was a Dubai kid. When I'm in Dubai, I'm the Indian. So there's a sense of finding your home where your people are, rather than because of a geographic location. And, to answer a yoga question, it's not like my mom said, oh, we're Indian, let's meditate today like yeah nobody, because it's life is so busy.

Speaker 2:

You know, yoga and stuff were things that are popular. Now, when I was growing up, I don't even think my mom had time to sit, and or rather she didn't see the use in sitting and taking a moment to herself, like my mom had so much guilt with just being, because, again, for her, her value was her doing things all the time. So even now I'm like mom, just take time to breathe. So you might think that because it's the land of yoga, because it's the land of wellness, we're constantly in tune with our intuition. But no, I think it's very much you deciding that there needs to be a change, regardless of where you're born or what your ethnicity is, and taking that step, if that makes sense yeah, no, I.

Speaker 1:

I understand that.

Speaker 1:

I was just wondering from, because obviously in India there's as we've just mentioned um, there's a large population that may meditate or may practice yoga, that it becomes a bit more normalized for when you are open-minded to these things like, for an example, I'm from Ireland, where we have a massive drinking culture and I don't actually drink alcohol, and because alcohol is so normalized it's nearly questioned upon whether I'm pregnant or whether there's. I was a raging alcoholic before because I don't drink alcohol. So that's why I was wondering has the entry point to actually meditating or doing these types of practice become a bit more acceptable to do?

Speaker 2:

It is. You know, Sophia, it is, but the truth is, I think it's not a norm in a household yet. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Especially the Indian household, because productivity is value there. How much you work, how much you achieve, is more important than let's take a moment. I mean, my mom was very in tune because she decided that. I still remember she tried to squeeze in yoga but for a huge majority of the time when she would work it was just like an illusion to her at that point in time because it was not achievable. But I truly feel like in a society where we're driven to be busy and be productive, even if it's a part of your DNA, even though you have access to it, it really takes that extra mile to actually go and be like oh you know what, let me invest in myself, let me do yoga, you know so when it comes to yoga or meditation, when did you find yoga and meditation?

Speaker 2:

honestly um covid yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think covid was such an incredible experience to wake people up and become more detached from their crazy, busy, chaos lifestyle that the general population did have and to actually just become more in touch with themselves. So after that did you struggle to hold on to? You know your practices that you learned during COVID?

Speaker 2:

you know your practices that you learned during COVID. See, I think if you are passionate about something and you feel the value from it, you will make the time of course yeah like you just said that you you just had a run before you came, because you value that.

Speaker 2:

You know it's beneficial for you. So did I have the time? No, but did I make it an intention to incorporate? Yes, I think when we try let me speak about my journey, because I'm a very everything has to be perfect. I used to be that way Okay, I'll wake up at 6 am and then I'll do yoga and then I'll go to work and then maybe I had a late night, so then I can't wake up at like 6 am.

Speaker 2:

Then I'll do yoga, and then I'll go to work and then maybe I had a late night, so then I can't wake up at like 6 am. Then I'll be like, oh, I can't do yoga because it's not the perfect schedule.

Speaker 1:

But instead of being that way, if I just try to incorporate a wellness practices in any part of the day, that I could squeeze it in, that helped me a bit more yeah because I was like, rather than making the day work for me, I know, rather than making myself work for the day, I make the day work for me yeah, I think that's so important to be agile and adaptable, because life, as I mentioned, even off camera, it's not a dress rehearsal, so we need to be able to move things around in order to incorporate the things that do matter. Yeah, so I listened to your TED talk. I had a little listen to it. Well, actually, I listened to all of it and I think when people listen to things, often I might get a different message as opposed to what you intentionally wanted to give across to other people.

Speaker 1:

So when you got up and did your TED talk, what was the intention that you set and what do you want people to get away from your talk or take away from your talk?

Speaker 2:

My intention with that talk was to make people realize that you can achieve your dreams, regardless of who you are, you or where you come from. Your dreams are not measured by the level of your, your privilege, the color of your skin or where you come from. Who you are, it's measured by the intensity of your hunger, your ability to do what you can using the resources around you, while maintaining your values and having that drive to achieve it. And I think we set ourselves in little benchmarks, saying, oh, but nobody has done this. In the spectrum of where I was raised, yeah, but maybe you're the change. So I think making people believe that their individuality is their power and that dreams are meant to be unrealistic was the huge takeaway.

Speaker 1:

How important is confidence for achieving your dreams?

Speaker 2:

Confidence is everything. It's everything. You can say, oh, I want to do amazing things, but deep down, if you feel like you can't, there's power in your thoughts. So when you believe you can't, even though you're mentally telling yourself you can, there's an inside voice saying you can't, you won't, because for achieving huge things, incredible things, there needs to be sheer delusion in a way that I can achieve it, where people feel like what is she talking about? But you believe that there's a hint of delusion, a hint of hope. I'm very spiritual, so there's a huge amount of spirituality in in mine as well, like I always say, with God's grace. But I truly believe it and I think that is the key.

Speaker 1:

I'm reading a book at the moment.

Speaker 1:

I think it's by Ian Roberts and if I'm probably gonna get it wrong, I'm gonna put it in the show notes anyway, but uh, he talks about how the socio-economic status of a family can actually impact someone's level of confidence. So there was two sets of kids and one came from a very financially successful family, and the level of confidence that came from that family compared to the family that struggled and they grew up in a family that didn't have the resources to support them to go to university. Yes, um, so when you mentioned earlier today that your, your mother and father, they had a little bit difficult, yes, how was? How was that growing up? Was?

Speaker 1:

that a financial case where you guys struggled financially or no, I think we were.

Speaker 2:

My parents had a very difficult life in terms of they had education and they were able to go to work and bring home what was needed to run the house, but they never had the privilege of following their dreams. They went to work to make money so there was food on the table, not because they were passionate about it, and that is, I think, more than socioeconomic state.

Speaker 2:

It is important 100%, because education is important as well, and if you can't afford it, that's a whole other story, but I can only talk about my experience, and in my experience I felt, more than the fact that my parents weren't the type of people who drove G-classes and we lived in big villas, no, like we had a very humble. I had a humble childhood but I felt like I had the most richest childhood because my privilege was mentality, where my parents made me believe, even though we came from a very average income household, I could achieve anything I wanted to. That my dreams weren't based on how much my parents made or the financial status of my parents or what they did, and I think that was the power. So, regardless of any background you come from, when you have the mentality, it changes everything. Cristiano Ronaldo he came from a very poor household, like he stayed away from his family for a huge majority of his life, if he came from. Actually, when you come from an incredibly privileged household.

Speaker 2:

There's a saying that I heard a really long time ago the success rate of dreams is hunger. When you have the hunger for something, you will do anything in your ability, maintaining your values, to achieve them. When you have everything already in life, it's very difficult to have that will, that drive, that passion. I need to do it. I need to make my parents proud. This change, this new change starts with me. That comes from hunger. So the success rate of a Ronaldo, to say, someone who had a really privileged upbringing, is very different. Yes, he has the resources, but resources don't guarantee your success. Your hunger and your drive does. And that comes from, at least for me, like I get so emotional when I speak about my parents because I've seen them suffer and I've seen them struggle every day and I want to do better to make things better for us.

Speaker 1:

Does that make sense? Do you think suffering and pain is a privilege?

Speaker 2:

I think it's a very controversial thing because my idea of suffering and pain is very different to somebody else's. So it's very easy for me to sit in my podcast wearing my jewelry and my abaya and saying, yes, suffering is a privilege. But let me tell you something when you go into a gym and you want to lift day one at the gym and you want to lift 150 weight, maybe you can do it, but your body can't take it, because it's only when you train and you build from your 5s to your 10s to your 15s can you finally build up the strength of your body to lift that 150. Life is exactly like this where you go through things, you go through hardships, you go through hardships, you go through struggles, you go through suffering, but that builds your strength because you're, I believe I went through the things in life.

Speaker 1:

Or people go through things in their life as a redirection Life, or God is preparing you for something where you need strong shoulders, and strong shoulders can only be built with strengths, and strength happens through, actually, you know, investing the time and yeah, okay if you don't have those painful moments and suffer a little bit, though you're not, you're not prepared to bring on the big stuff, and sometimes I believe that life will hustle you to extreme levels until you get on the right path that you're supposed to take.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and that's through my own experience of just being hustled until you redirect to see where your purpose or where your path is supposed to be. Has there been any moments in your life where you've been hustled to the core and to divert your pathway of where you should go when it comes to entrepreneurship business?

Speaker 2:

friendships so many times, so many times. And in that point in time I was like why is this happening to me? Like, like I still remember, like I spoke to my mother a long time back. I I was like why is this happening to me? Like, what is this? What's the reason? And she's like you don't know the reason now, but future you will be thankful. This happened. Like I had a fear of speaking in public, I had a fear of doing things different. Like I told you as a kid, all I wanted to do was fit in, because I just wanted to be accepted, because I felt like I wasn't. But as I grew older I realized there's beauty in standing out, there's beauty in having redirection because, say, the COVID thing, had that have not happened, had I not have gone through the tough things that I went through, it would have never even urged me to start wellness and start a brand. And today I'm known as an entrepreneur because of that moment in life.

Speaker 1:

How was it for you to remove your identity away from work?

Speaker 2:

It was very difficult, very difficult, to a point where, um, like I said, in fact there's an interview of me saying my work is not what I do, it's who I am.

Speaker 2:

It was very much because that's the truth of a lot of high achievers the day we're not doing something, we think we're worthless because our achievement is like a tick box, like for for me, especially when I used to achieve something, I was not proud of myself. It was like, okay, that's done, now what's next? And that's a very vicious cycle to remove yourself and say my achievement, my worth, is how I feel on the inside, like if I feel at peace and I'm going home and I have my family with me, that is my success. Rather than, oh, I achieved such and such and such, great, but who do I share it with? I can be the most richest billionaire in the world, but in the end of the day, if I'm going to an empty house, I have no peace in my life, I have no love for myself or for the people around me. What's the point? How did?

Speaker 1:

you figure that one out, covid, but prior, prior to COVID. Do you think if that hadn't happened, you would be that type of person that would be still following the billionaire dream?

Speaker 2:

no, not not only the billionaire dream, but like a tick box, like I was the kind of person I would do Vogue, like I would be on set for Vogue and I'd be like, okay, now I need to do a cover.

Speaker 2:

Next, while I'm on the chair, while I'm on, and then I'm shooting the cover of like a magazine okay, now I need to do this campaign, because it was never about being in the moment, it was about what's next. And that's very vicious, because that you're not confident about yourself at that point in time, because you think, okay, I'll be happier when that happens, I'll be proud of myself when that happens, and then when that happens is the next thing. But when your, when your values, when who you are inside, when your inner peace, the love that you have, the people that you have in your life, when that is your worth, that's the strongest foundation that you can have. They say, the tallest trees have the deepest and strongest roots. If you want to grow higher and higher, you need to be so deeply rooted to who you are, where you came from, because that's the only thing that can hold you.

Speaker 1:

You talk about your family quite a lot. I do.

Speaker 2:

I feel like every podcast is about my mom and my dad. I do.

Speaker 1:

I feel like every podcast is about my mom and my dad literally Hi. So I just want to see where's the extension of like friends? Yeah, how do you manage Because obviously you've such a busy lifestyle and when you're talking about, you know being modeling for Vogue and you know thinking about the next next thing how have you managed to nurture friendships?

Speaker 2:

friendships to me was something that I really struggled with, because a lot of times I found myself in places where I was the one who was investing more, like I was the one who was overcompensating yes, because I do believe I was a people pleaser for a huge majority of my life.

Speaker 2:

So it was like, oh, yes, yes, sure, sure, sure, anything, anything you know. But then, once I started maintaining boundaries and letting go of dead end friendships friendships that I thought were friendships but it was just a matter of, I don't know, association for them, but maybe friendships for me I realized once I let go of those loose ends, life brought to me the most beautiful nurturing friendships where I personally feel like my girls are my strength in a huge majority of the way, like they're girls who we pour into each other's cups. We nurture each other, we're there for each other, we're proud for each other, and I felt like I had to go through that phase in my life to appreciate my girls. Today, like anytime any of us have an event, like we're the first ones there, and be like yes, that's my girl.

Speaker 2:

And women are such like when men meet, like I heard this somewhere when men meet, they meet around a game. When girls meet, we meet like this. So I want to know about your life? So who are you seeing? You know that's how we meet, because we thrive on interaction, we thrive on a communication. So it's integral for us to have a strong group of women who are themselves. They're strong individually, they are their own person, but they nurture, like you nurture each other, like you appreciate the individuality in, in each, each person. But at the same time, there's something that brings you together and that's my girls.

Speaker 1:

For me, what kind of advice would you give someone who is a people pleaser and they're getting disappointed yeah, um, from the people that they're surrounding themselves by?

Speaker 2:

you might not like to hear it, but they're the wrong kind of people absolutely a lot of times in life.

Speaker 2:

We want something, something to work, we want a friendship to work, we want a relationship to work. But if everything is round, if it's only one way and there's nothing coming back, that's just a line. It doesn't make sense. You deserve love, respect, kindness. You deserve a sense of relationship that fuels you, and I don't mean this in just one sense. I mean every relationship in the world. If you're a mother, if you're a daughter, if you're a wife, if you're a girlfriend, you're a friend, you're an associate, you're a colleague. It's a relationship where you pour into their cups and they pour into yours, and if that's not part of the equation, that's not something that you need in your life.

Speaker 1:

So, when it comes to friendships, have they been childhood friends or are they? Friends that you've accumulated over the years.

Speaker 2:

So I know the common narrative is that you can't find real friendships in the industry, but I've been very blessed that I've found wonderful friendships within the industry and these are people that I've known for years. There are some who I've just met last year and they've become so close to me. I have friends who I grew up with and just yesterday one of my friends came over and she's someone that I grew up with, so she's seen me in school, she's seen in uni and she's she's seen me now. So I think it's a varied group.

Speaker 1:

It's not necessarily just now, you know how have you managed then obviously you're in such a competitive industry, especially when perfectionism is a priority to look a certain way? How do you manage people passing comments, um, or any kind of negative feedback from anyone within the industry?

Speaker 2:

I don't accept it. Yeah, that's your opinion. Like that's how you feel, and I personally believe that you speak how you feel on the inside. Have you ever noticed when there's a bad day, when you're going's a bad day, when you're going through a bad day, everything around you is horrible? Oh, that book is slanted. Oh, like, this is not working right. Oh, I hate the light, I hate the weather Everything is bad. But when you're happy inside, everything is beautiful. Once you understand that concept, you realize when people pour negativity to you, it's often a reflection of how they feel on the inside. So there's a sense of empathy rather than anger. So you're like that's your opinion, that's fine. Like, at the end of the day, I wear what I want, I dress what I want. I might look like a cake today, but I love what I'm wearing. Like it brings me joy and that's all there is to it. Like you got to do what makes you happy. People will talk anyways.

Speaker 1:

For the people who are listening. Can you describe what you're wearing? It's a cake.

Speaker 2:

So I actually designed this a while ago, and it's an abaya actually, but yeah, it's a cutesy little thing that I love.

Speaker 1:

This comes from your background, right. What was your studies? Because I know we were just discussing this.

Speaker 2:

So we had a conversation and you asked me how did you make it? I was like I went to fashion school and need to make some use of that degree.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I don't know. I think I just Did you think that one day you'd be a fashion designer. I did.

Speaker 2:

I did for a huge majority of my university. I genuinely thought I'd be a designer?

Speaker 1:

Was that because you were obviously good at what you did?

Speaker 2:

My mom was a designer. My mom was a designer and then she couldn't be a designer because it required a lot of money and everything. So then she became a merchandiser, and then she became a merchandiser and then she became a buyer, because that was the thing that paid the bills, and so I think my love for fashion came from there. And that's how I got introduced to all the magazines, because she would bring magazines at home as part of research. And what did your father do when you were? My father worked in HR and administration, so he was Actually actually his story is beautiful. He wanted to be an athlete and he was really good as well, but his father believed in academics and he said because in India, a lot of the times, a lot of homes are driven by academics more than being a sports person more than being an artist or being a designer.

Speaker 2:

Who you are academically is your worth in a way, so your grades are how your parents are proud of you. So he went through that a lot, where he did a degree that he didn't like. He went to a job that he didn't like, but he never imposed that on me, and that is something I'm so grateful for, because for a man to know only this, where his worth was based on his academics, his worth was based on him doing something that his parents thought was like a stable job, and for his daughter saying, hey, I'm going to fashion school, oh, by the way, I want to stop modeling. But and and for him to be there at every event and arrange my books and take my pictures, it makes me so you know, grateful.

Speaker 1:

Do you think, then, most families go through different generations, learning from their mistakes and just hand?

Speaker 2:

it down to the next, but they must be willing to learn. A lot of times we say that's how it was done, so that's how I will do it. It's time to break the chain where, yes, that's how I will do it. It's time to break the chain where, yes, that's what happened to me. But this ends here. I think my parents did that for me. That's why I was able to achieve my dreams. But their parents, or so many different parents, just did what they were taught, because back then, that's all they knew. And it's not their fault either, because that's all they knew, because they thought okay, if my kid goes into sports, how is he going to earn a living? Because not everyone turns into a Messi, not everyone turns into you know, but yeah.

Speaker 1:

Do you think that's changed now that parents are more accepting to just allow their kids to try everything and anything?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, because, proof of concept Nowadays, the people who are achieving the most amount of things are the people who are doing things different. You see podcasters making so much money. You see athletes making so much money. You see designers making so much money. You see influencers making so much money. So parents are like oh, this concept works. Back then there was no proof of concept, so you would just base it on as you. Like my parents were dreamers, I would say, because there was no proof of concept back then, but that's very rare. But now it's easier to accept because you see it and also social media gives us access to so many different lives and people that you're like oh, this can happen too.

Speaker 1:

This is a job too since the proof of concept now is just. The level is outrageous. Now, and there's so much proof out there, how do you think someone can be a successful entrepreneur amongst the competition that we're facing now?

Speaker 2:

um, I always believe in the saying you know we, we're children of today, but what can we do for the children of tomorrow? Meaning what you're bringing, does it have value? Does it have intention? Is it going to be something that's going to help someone? Is it going to be something that's going to be of value to someone? These ideas are 100% what works at the end of the day, more than, oh, I have a great product, I believe in it, yay, let's go. If you shift that to how can this help people? How is it going to bring value to people's life? What is the intention behind it? What's the purpose behind it? I think there's more of a chance for it to succeed in that aspect when you talk about purpose what's your purpose in life?

Speaker 2:

Oh, wow, okay. So purpose, I believe, is not just a final destination, it's a journey. You can have multiple purposes in life. The illusion is that you're meant to have just one. Purpose for me is Ray. Purpose for me is being a wonderful daughter. Purpose for me is to have a beautiful house in the mountains and like the farm and have my animals and my chickens and grow my vegetables one day. Where will that be? Somewhere in the mountains, like? I still don't know the place yet.

Speaker 2:

But that would be a purpose that I would love to work towards, and it's so funny, that's my purpose. I want to. Are you serious? Oh my, can we be neighbors so we can exchange eggs and milk?

Speaker 1:

yeah, I know you know I was looking at Italy. I was like, yeah, I would love a house and like that's maybe 40-50 minutes drive to the city, but then I can go and just live like a quiet lifestyle on the side of a mountain.

Speaker 2:

I would love that. Like can you imagine going in the morning and just having a basket and taking your tomatoes and your vegetables? That's the dream, so that's a purpose, so that's the thing. At the same time, I do want to work on Ray as well, so that could be my purpose too. Like it's not just one thing. You're not meant to do one thing in life. The again proof of concept Our moms, they're not just moms, they're moms, they're wives, they're daughters, they're achievers, they're entrepreneurs, they work, they have identities. Proof of concept we're not meant to do just one thing.

Speaker 1:

Do you ever feel like sometimes you get whipped away from your purpose in the chaos of life?

Speaker 2:

absolutely, but it's time to redirect. That's that's the time when you need to invest in yourself, because it's only when you invest in yourself do you understand the value and you're like this feels great and this aligns me to my purpose. So I need to go back to that, but it's important for you to experience it, because then you understand the value, then you make time value, then you make time. How?

Speaker 1:

often do you feel like you're dragged away from your purpose, like even on a weekly basis.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, so many times Do you ever find yourself going on social media and seeing somebody else live their dream life and you're like, oh must be nice, oh must be nice, that looks wonderful, absolutely. But then you have to redirect. That's her path in life. This is my path in life. This is not one road that we're following. Everyone has their own path what distracts you the most?

Speaker 2:

everything like. I am a human being at the end of the day. Yes, I'm in tune spiritually, yes, I'm in tune with my intuition, but at the end of the day, I'm also human. I'm also tune spiritually. Yes, I'm in tune with my intuition, but at the end of the day, I'm also human. I'm also exposed to social media. I'm also exposed to ideas and opinions of people. So there are a lot of things that distract me, but what's important is that I redirect myself. So, despite the distraction, I have the power to say okay, that made me feel a certain way. Snap out of it, it's time to get back on track.

Speaker 1:

How often do you journal?

Speaker 2:

Every day.

Speaker 1:

Have you missed a day? I have.

Speaker 2:

And that's okay, because there are days where you don't want to write, there are days when you don't want to express. I feel there are days where you express and there are days where you just think and there are days where you feel nothing, and that's okay and that's the reason. In in our, in our, in our ray of light journal, there's no dates. So I want you, I don't want you to feel obliged to write every day just because it's a task like you need to enjoy it. There are days where I don't write.

Speaker 1:

I think that's really important not to force it yeah, and not to put yourself in a cage all the time because that dissuades from the purpose.

Speaker 2:

This is not homework, it's not a task. It's you investing in yourself. You should enjoy it.

Speaker 1:

With how flexible you are. Is there a limitation, though, on being super flexible? That then sometimes one day ends up being two days, three days, and then you get so drawn away from your practice For journaling. For journaling, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are days Like I was in Bhutan on a holiday and I couldn't journal those days, but I was still in tune with myself, I still made a moment to meditate, I still took a moment to enjoy the nature and be one. You know, there was this monk that I met and he said what he does in the morning he takes off his shoes and he puts his feet on raw ground, like so either grass or mud, and he just takes that moment to be grateful and that moment to be present, and I love that so much. So it's not like you have to do one specific thing. That's what I said you need to make the day work for you.

Speaker 2:

There are going to be days where you may not have the time. You have back-to-back meetings, you have back-to-back things that you have to do. You may not be able to journal, that's okay. But maybe meditate, maybe enjoy your coffee with intention and not go on your phone like phone here and then coffee here, and or like netflix, your coffee here. No, like taking, like simple thing, like that taking a moment to yourself.

Speaker 1:

Meditation come in all different forms all different. You can do it right now, right now guys you want to meditate we interrupt this program for meditation it's a, it's our new brand now plug instant, okay. So when it comes to meditating, how many minutes are you meditating?

Speaker 2:

so see it's, it's a really good question, because I'm the kind of person I constantly have to be doing something, so it's very hard for me to just sit and not do anything. So I do find like my thoughts wander because I'm thinking, oh, I have that client coming in, I have that corporate order, like my book needs to go here, or like my day. So it gets really hard to regroup. So I don't say, oh, I will meditate for five minutes today. I'm like how long can I hold my focus? If it's a minute today, that's okay. It might be 10 minutes tomorrow and that's okay. I think, being kind to ourselves, like I said, it's not like a schedule Meditate from 8.10 to 8.20. It's not possible. There are days where you only have the bandwidth to meditate for a minute and that's fine.

Speaker 1:

Has there been any monumental memory that you have throughout your whole career that really paved you of who you are today, besides covid?

Speaker 2:

I know I keep plugging in covid. So many things, so many things um one something recent that like you mean like an achievement or or it really high achievers syndrome right here. Absolutely, I had no shame in that like. Do you mean achievement?

Speaker 1:

um no, it could be simply in a supermarket. Someone said something to you. Is there any kind of memorable moment that really impacted the way you think?

Speaker 2:

there was this one specific day, um, I still remember I was in a store and there was a girl who looked exactly like me when I was a kid and she came up to me and she was like Ria, ria, ria, I, I saw your picture in a magazine and and, and I, and I told my mom she looks up to me and she was like Rhea, rhea, rhea. I saw your picture in a magazine and I told my mom she looks exactly like me and I was like, wow, like I never had that Like for a huge majority of my life. I thought I was not beautiful, I thought I was not confident, I thought I was not worthy of being in those magazines, worthy of being in those magazines and to see the light and hope in that girl's eyes, I was like, yeah, no one will ever feel that way again, you know when it comes to admiration, I feel like your parents have obviously had a monumental piece in your existence.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, has there been anyone else who's really influenced you throughout your career, my grandmother.

Speaker 2:

She's a very strong woman. The oldest of five girls, I think. She reached a phase in her life where her father fell ill and she had to raise her sisters and it went to a point where she started as a PA, a personal assistant to someone in a government office, and she ended up by the end of her career being a government officer from a PA and she was a woman who constantly instilled in. I think I get my high achiever syndrome from her, because my mom and dad are like the most chill people ever. They're like oh, it's okay, take a rest, take rest, relax.

Speaker 2:

My grandmother was always like what's next? Because she came from an environment where that was needed. So I think she was someone who, like a lot of times in my life I feel like everyone, especially my mom, says, oh, my god, I feel like she's right here, especially when I speak. She thinks like I'm like a um, like her, her shadow. So I do feel it's my grandmother. Yeah, I I really wish she was here. I think she would be really proud to she's still here.

Speaker 1:

She's still here, just in different forms. Different forms, yeah, that's what I love to think about my, my nana. I call her my nana. Yeah, I always feel like she's around, but just in a different form, or just in some way or shape or form yeah, no, you know, um, I can't like.

Speaker 2:

There was this one day where she said, um, her grandfather came to her office one day and he was so proud to you know. Sorry, come on.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, is there a tissue? I didn't wear one, you're okay? Yeah, I'm okay no-transcript yeah this is not me, I mean it is, but I love the way you're half crying, half laughing at the same time. I'm sure she's looking down at you being like she's like stop that girl, you're embarrassing me. No, but I wish she was here to see this I'm sure she's watching from afar and she's like, yeah, she's like you just embarrassed me and like camera and you're crying.

Speaker 2:

This is not my granddaughter. No, I'm sure she's watching from afar and she's like you, just embarrassed me. I'm like Cameron, you're crying.

Speaker 1:

This is not my granddaughter. No, I'm sure she's like I'm glad I'm getting some air time now. She's like finally.

Speaker 2:

Finally, it was about time, but yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's so amazing that I can see. Obviously she's had a massive impact on your life.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I think it's incredible how people can still have a massive impact on your success and your journey. Yeah. And what you're doing right now, and I'm sure she's crazy proud of you now from what you've achieved so far. With that being said, what's next for you?

Speaker 2:

Probably just figure out how to stop crying. No, what's next for me? I think, um, just the next vision of ray. I think we're enforcing a sense of community, because ray has very much been about community. The other day, um, I I received a dm.

Speaker 2:

Um, someone said, uh, girl, your journal saved my marriage. Oh, and I'm just like like that was the intention behind Ray, like for it to actually be. I mean, at that moment I felt like I just cashed like a two million check, like that was the emotion for me, because that that was what I wanted for Ray to actually help people. That was the intention of Ray, more than, oh, like we need to make this profit and this target. I was like this needs to help people, because it helped me at a time where it I I really needed it, but I didn't really know if people would feel that same emotion.

Speaker 2:

So for people to feel that I mean, this is exactly what Ray is about enforcing a community. Enforcing, mainly, making people realize that whatever they seek in the world is already within them. If it's acceptance, if it's love, if it's advice, if it's knowledge, you already have it in you. Yes, we look to different avenues for growth and reassurance, but you already um have so much of that in you and we just don't give ourselves a credit. And I think that's the future. Of rage is for to build a community of strong individuals who realize their power within but also realize the beauty of their vulnerability.

Speaker 1:

I have one last question for you, because it's called the Detach podcast. Yes.

Speaker 2:

What would you detach yourself away from that's limiting you today? Very good question. What would I detach myself from? I think everything in my life, even my faults, made me who I am today. But I would detach myself from the thought of that. I know everything, like there's constant room to grow and constant room to learn, where, yes, I have my faults, but I also appreciate the journey and I also appreciate that I have a lot more to learn.

Speaker 1:

that makes sense. That's amazing. I feel like I resonate with that a lot because, yeah, we don't know everything, but we can be stubborn yeah, we can especially high achievers. Well, I just want to say thank you so much for being on today, and it's been such an emotional roller coaster yeah, I'm like I want to get up and give you a big hug.